Monday night is my last shift at the seasonal gig. I was able to pick up extra shifts and suffer through the mall madness without losing my soul completely. I'm so tired of sausage, cheese, and even those stupid mini melt away mints.
I resigned from my job at Arts for All with sadness and relief a couple weeks ago. Sadness because I cared about the participants and had hoped that my year would be filled with service, love and making a difference. Relief because I learned that even in non- profit work, people are still consumed with running a business, making a buck, and not always treating people well. I learned a lot about people as well, and I learned that sometimes a boss is simply never satisfied with you. The year began with my job working for Dr. P, a South Korean Dentist raised by Doctors and boarding school. It was nothing personal, I'm assured, I was not perfect. And later in the year, I experienced the turbulence of Ms. B who truly feels that her employees (especially AmeriCorps) are expendable. I should have caught on to that the day I moved to Tucson and she was cold as ice to me, even pointing out to me that my summer t-shirt was too low. I've learned the importance of more thoroughly investigating work before I take it. I've also learned to really listen to the stories that you hear about a place. You can always be positive and hopeful, but weigh everything you hear closely. Let things simmer a bit. Live and learn...
Despite all of that, I am feeling exceedingly hopeful about the new year. I almost can't contain myself. I have so many dreams and hopes about this year. I'm really excited. I would like to attend a course at University of Arizona to become certified in teaching English overseas this summer. It is something I have always contemplated, and I love the idea of opening my life to living abroad! Even if I don't teach abroad (and why wouldn't I), it's wonderful to enhance your skills and mind.
Sometimes it feels crazy to dream big, but the opposite of that is to stay small and unchanged. I got a brochure in the mail about a trip to Togo to visit Victoire, my sponsored child via Compassion. I want to go so badly. The thing is, it's a lot of money, and guess what? My CELTA course is not cheap either, but here's the thing... I no longer work at a job where I average about 5.00 an hour, and maybe that's a good thing! Maybe, just maybe, I need to find a better paying job so that I can pursue clearer, broader dreams of mine. And so it begins... I'm on the job hunt! It's not a fun process, but in this day and age, it seems like a constant. Once you get a job, start looking for the next job! The great thing is that I feel truly motivated to work hard, make money, and save. Please keep me in your prayers as I search and hunt for work, and please help me keep pressing forward to those good dreams!
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Christmas Eve
The holidays often stir up feelings of loss and memory, heartache and longing. I rode my bicycle past Evergreen Cemetery tonight, Christmas Eve, and was captured by the number of people decorating little trees for their loved ones no longer on this earth. The one person I tend to think about most over the holidays is my Grandma. I think about how she dressed up for Christmas, how cheerful and happy she was to greet me, cook for me, and celebrate with me. I also think about how she wrapped razors and underwear for me. :) Christmas can be hard for many, but somehow, God's grace appears and we make it through. May you feel God's loving embrace this season.
Monday, December 22, 2014
Christmas baking
I haven't done a ton of baking recently, but something came over me tonight and I had the strongest urge to get busy in the kitchen. I lit a pine candle, opened my door for fresh air (I'm in Tucson, remember...), played some great music (a little Amy Grant, Amos Lee, Norah Jones), and baked to my hearts content. I love my little kitchen and the happy meals I plan, prepare, and invent here. I make myself delicious smoothies, strong coffee, and hot tea. Tonight I made myself an omelet with peppers and Swiss cheese. I love grating fresh cheese over things. It's truly one of those rewarding pleasures of being a human.
Yesterday I worked my gardening/errands job and I will confess I was a bit disappointed. I feel like I work pretty hard for this lady, taking out her trash, picking up her branches, digging into the earth, and watering her plants among other things. I bike three miles to her home, sweaty in the summer, and my hands are always dry and my body often aches after all the chores.
When I expect something, I'm almost always disappointed, and I was thinking she would show me some appreciation... a note, a little bonus, something! I feel silly to acknowledge that it bummed me out, but maybe because my other jobs have been so unappreciative, I was hoping someone would give me a line.
I'm sitting at my desk, later that evening, and my neighbor walks over with something in her hands. I screamed, unfortunately. I've always been easily startled and since the attempted break in a couple months ago, I might be a little more. Still I'm so hot blooded that I leave my door open as much as I can with three fans blowing. A.C. will return in March. My neighbor thanked me for the Christmas card I taped to her door, and she handed me a brand new Pampered Chef brownie square pan with a cake tester. I hugged her with gratitude and rejoicing. She told me that her Grandma had given it to her but she didn't think she'd use it. I started researching Pampered Chef brownie square recipes immediately.
All this to say, this is what I love about Christmas. The unexpected, and that's what we receive from Christ. He gave Himself, an unexpected gift of love, redemption, hope, peace, and life born in a manger where there was no room for Him.
Tomorrow I'm going to hand out some cookies, sprinkle some cheer, and hopefully give someone an expected blessing.
Pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. Delicious! I will be making some more tomorrow.
Also, Judy Collins autobiography is very juicy- loved learning how so many songs have shaped, influenced, and reflected history.
This is my favorite Christmas cookie to make. I got the recipe from my dear friend, Joyce Pack, in Berea, Kentucky. It is a M and M Oatmeal cookie. :) Also, delicious.. and festive.
Yesterday I worked my gardening/errands job and I will confess I was a bit disappointed. I feel like I work pretty hard for this lady, taking out her trash, picking up her branches, digging into the earth, and watering her plants among other things. I bike three miles to her home, sweaty in the summer, and my hands are always dry and my body often aches after all the chores.
When I expect something, I'm almost always disappointed, and I was thinking she would show me some appreciation... a note, a little bonus, something! I feel silly to acknowledge that it bummed me out, but maybe because my other jobs have been so unappreciative, I was hoping someone would give me a line.
I'm sitting at my desk, later that evening, and my neighbor walks over with something in her hands. I screamed, unfortunately. I've always been easily startled and since the attempted break in a couple months ago, I might be a little more. Still I'm so hot blooded that I leave my door open as much as I can with three fans blowing. A.C. will return in March. My neighbor thanked me for the Christmas card I taped to her door, and she handed me a brand new Pampered Chef brownie square pan with a cake tester. I hugged her with gratitude and rejoicing. She told me that her Grandma had given it to her but she didn't think she'd use it. I started researching Pampered Chef brownie square recipes immediately.
All this to say, this is what I love about Christmas. The unexpected, and that's what we receive from Christ. He gave Himself, an unexpected gift of love, redemption, hope, peace, and life born in a manger where there was no room for Him.
Tomorrow I'm going to hand out some cookies, sprinkle some cheer, and hopefully give someone an expected blessing.
Pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. Delicious! I will be making some more tomorrow.
Also, Judy Collins autobiography is very juicy- loved learning how so many songs have shaped, influenced, and reflected history.
This is my favorite Christmas cookie to make. I got the recipe from my dear friend, Joyce Pack, in Berea, Kentucky. It is a M and M Oatmeal cookie. :) Also, delicious.. and festive.
Saturday, December 20, 2014
I love food, but sometimes I forget to eat...
Life has presented various challenges to me lately- changes bring forth good things, but sometimes they are also challenging. I don't feel like going into detail, except to say that my heart has felt a nice cup full of disappointment in the last few weeks.
I love to make food, even for myself. I recently made two big pots of minestrone and ate it consistently for nearly two weeks with fresh shaved parmesan on top. I made 24 pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and froze them as well, in little zip-lock bags for my convenience... a delicious breakfast or sweet snack.
But I'm not sure I've been eating all that much lately. It's not that I'm trying to starve myself, but my schedule has been erratic and my soul has been a little stressed. I've been making coffee, grabbing polar pops, and making decent smoothies with a swipe of peanut butter. I've been living on this diet- smoothies, coffee, polar pops, and frequent snacks of sausage, cheese, and mini melt away mints.
My lethargy reached an all time high yesterday. I couldn't get any stamina in me to bicycle to Trader Joe's as I had planned. I went to bed and slept, and then I woke up on Saturday and slept till past noon. What the heck is going on with me?
Maybe I am depressed... there certainly have been plenty of depressing things in my life recently, and the birthday and Christmas on top of it, but I am not sure I am.
I woke up at noon craving a burger in the most intense way, and I started thinking about a meal with longing. When was the last time I had a MEAL?
So I scurried on the bus and walked to the In and Out Burger joint and got myself a hamburger with onions, French fires with ketchup, and I thought it was incredibly delicious, like a baby having its first drip of Mother's milk.
And I didn't want to sample sausage at work, and I had a little more energy to stand and do my job. I also had energy to come home and clean a little and feel a little more peppy.
I guess I just need to remember to eat.
I love to make food, even for myself. I recently made two big pots of minestrone and ate it consistently for nearly two weeks with fresh shaved parmesan on top. I made 24 pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and froze them as well, in little zip-lock bags for my convenience... a delicious breakfast or sweet snack.
But I'm not sure I've been eating all that much lately. It's not that I'm trying to starve myself, but my schedule has been erratic and my soul has been a little stressed. I've been making coffee, grabbing polar pops, and making decent smoothies with a swipe of peanut butter. I've been living on this diet- smoothies, coffee, polar pops, and frequent snacks of sausage, cheese, and mini melt away mints.
My lethargy reached an all time high yesterday. I couldn't get any stamina in me to bicycle to Trader Joe's as I had planned. I went to bed and slept, and then I woke up on Saturday and slept till past noon. What the heck is going on with me?
Maybe I am depressed... there certainly have been plenty of depressing things in my life recently, and the birthday and Christmas on top of it, but I am not sure I am.
I woke up at noon craving a burger in the most intense way, and I started thinking about a meal with longing. When was the last time I had a MEAL?
So I scurried on the bus and walked to the In and Out Burger joint and got myself a hamburger with onions, French fires with ketchup, and I thought it was incredibly delicious, like a baby having its first drip of Mother's milk.
And I didn't want to sample sausage at work, and I had a little more energy to stand and do my job. I also had energy to come home and clean a little and feel a little more peppy.
I guess I just need to remember to eat.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Luke 2:7
And she gave birth to her firstborn Son and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths and laid Him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the Inn.
Luke 2:7
It is very early in the morning here in Tucson. It's the first slightly chilly night we've had in a few weeks. Even though it is very early and dark, there are still cars racing out and people still on the streets wandering and lights from the dingy motels blinking.
I've heard sermons, read devotions, and sung songs about the irony of Jesus, no place at the Inn for Him and no place in our world for Him, all my life. I remember singing the old hymn, "Have You Any Room for Jesus?", but reading the passage in Luke this week caused me to consider my heart and world more closely.
My experience lately has been among an almost invisible population, the severely disabled, and for so many of them, the world doesn't welcome them in. I think also about the elderly, orphans, prisoners, murderers, the poor, the foreigner, the outcast. The world does not welcome them in very warmly or well. Ride the bus number 16 in Tucson and you shall see that people don't always regard each other with much respect, but you already know this.
What does our world welcome? I think our world welcomes greed, power, celebrity, appearances, high self esteem. Our world welcomes pleasure and speed, novelty and competition. Our world still does not welcome Jesus, and living in the world all the time it can be easy to lose sight of my goal to welcome Him fully into my life and abide with me as my true Companion.
I feel like this small little verse is such a powerful word on the focus of our heart. Have I made room for Jesus to come, to dwell, to stay, to linger, to rest? Is He comfortable in my life? Is He enjoying the company? the food? the music? the reading? laughter? This Christmas season, I'm praying that my eyes open more to the ways in which I can make more room for Jesus. I want Him to have a place in my life.
Luke 2:7
It is very early in the morning here in Tucson. It's the first slightly chilly night we've had in a few weeks. Even though it is very early and dark, there are still cars racing out and people still on the streets wandering and lights from the dingy motels blinking.
I've heard sermons, read devotions, and sung songs about the irony of Jesus, no place at the Inn for Him and no place in our world for Him, all my life. I remember singing the old hymn, "Have You Any Room for Jesus?", but reading the passage in Luke this week caused me to consider my heart and world more closely.
My experience lately has been among an almost invisible population, the severely disabled, and for so many of them, the world doesn't welcome them in. I think also about the elderly, orphans, prisoners, murderers, the poor, the foreigner, the outcast. The world does not welcome them in very warmly or well. Ride the bus number 16 in Tucson and you shall see that people don't always regard each other with much respect, but you already know this.
What does our world welcome? I think our world welcomes greed, power, celebrity, appearances, high self esteem. Our world welcomes pleasure and speed, novelty and competition. Our world still does not welcome Jesus, and living in the world all the time it can be easy to lose sight of my goal to welcome Him fully into my life and abide with me as my true Companion.
I feel like this small little verse is such a powerful word on the focus of our heart. Have I made room for Jesus to come, to dwell, to stay, to linger, to rest? Is He comfortable in my life? Is He enjoying the company? the food? the music? the reading? laughter? This Christmas season, I'm praying that my eyes open more to the ways in which I can make more room for Jesus. I want Him to have a place in my life.
5 Tips to Frugality
1. Never buy straws. Every time you go to the convenience store, grab a couple extra straws and reuse the one you use. Great straws for smoothies later.
2. Always have plenty of coffee filters. Cheaper than paper towels and lint free. Use them.
3. Baking soda. Clean your tub, sink, etc. with this easy remedy. Also use it to eliminate odors.
4. Brings snacks with you at all times to prevent buying food when out and about. I've been keeping tangerines in my purse and energy bars.
5. Instead of driving, ride the bus, and instead of riding the bus, ride your bicycle and save so much money on gasoline. And feel good about that as you are getting stronger legs.
2. Always have plenty of coffee filters. Cheaper than paper towels and lint free. Use them.
3. Baking soda. Clean your tub, sink, etc. with this easy remedy. Also use it to eliminate odors.
4. Brings snacks with you at all times to prevent buying food when out and about. I've been keeping tangerines in my purse and energy bars.
5. Instead of driving, ride the bus, and instead of riding the bus, ride your bicycle and save so much money on gasoline. And feel good about that as you are getting stronger legs.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Collard Greens
I work for a lady once a week doing odd jobs such as gardening, cleaning, errands, etc., This past Sunday I did a little gardening. She had me pull out all her collard green plants and told me that I could take them home. She is unable to eat collard greens, but this was still completely generous of her. Fresh, bright, and healthy collard greens. I bicycled home with two enormous bags of greens. It seemed a shame to not put them to good use.
So I washed them and pulled them from the stem. I placed them in my two vegetable drawers underneath a paper towel. And then I started contemplating what to do with them! Of course I have some roots in the South, so I know about cooking collards with ham hocks and letting them simmer. But I wanted to try some new things. I sautéed a plate first with garlic, olive oil, salt and red pepper flakes. After the greens cooked , I tossed them in a little apple vinegar. It was delicious! I also tried a green smoothie made with tons of greens, a little orange juice, and one banana. It was quite tasty! And then I decided to make a couple big batches of minestrone. I think it turned out quite festive. It is almost Christmas...
So I washed them and pulled them from the stem. I placed them in my two vegetable drawers underneath a paper towel. And then I started contemplating what to do with them! Of course I have some roots in the South, so I know about cooking collards with ham hocks and letting them simmer. But I wanted to try some new things. I sautéed a plate first with garlic, olive oil, salt and red pepper flakes. After the greens cooked , I tossed them in a little apple vinegar. It was delicious! I also tried a green smoothie made with tons of greens, a little orange juice, and one banana. It was quite tasty! And then I decided to make a couple big batches of minestrone. I think it turned out quite festive. It is almost Christmas...
The soup is quite delicious, and I am freezing one batch for another time. Collard greens are one of the healthiest vegetables for you. I looked it up, and let me just say, there are too many benefits to name. Look it up yourself! And how wonderful that they came from a garden I help tend. The soup is especially good with fresh mozzarella added on top. I love how it melts into the hot soup. I am so happy in my little kitchen with the fan going, doors open, palm trees saying, and my stomach satisfied. I shall have good dreams tonight.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Music at the Mall
I confess I have been running on very little fuel. I've lost heart. There is a whole list of possible reasons why- a bitchy boss, failed expectations, uncertainty, fear. I honestly think a lot of it is tied to overwork which has led to my soul being stressed, overwhelmed, and not resting, relaxing, and creating like I need. It's good to sleep in, to enjoy a cup of coffee, to linger and listen to a friend, and to have time to walk. It's Christmas and I desperately long for time to contemplate and dwell in Luke, the Christmas story, and let my heart enjoy this season for all its grace and glory.
I was dreading the work day, but I made it on time with a cup of coffee in hand. Right in front of me, in the middle of the mall, was a group of senior citizen uke players sitting in white chairs, red shirts, and Santa hats. The orchestra leader was an energetic lady with red and white socks and an Elf hat on. They were so full of spirit and happiness, and I watched and sang along with them. My spirit started to change a little. I remembered all I have to be thankful for this season, and I let my heart rest upon the beauty of the Christmas carols. Then, just as things were feeling sacred, the band started jamming out to "Let it Snow" and snowballs started to be thrown all over the place. A fake snowball fight? It was hilarious and joyous. I was smiling and delighted. People might pass and think "those funny old people", but what people should think is "those wonderful old people making music for the world to hear."
I watched as the band got up and the orchestra leader announced, "We're all going to Cheesecake Factory now for some cheesecake!" This group of people make me glad. They are reveling in the joy of life- music, friendship, food, sharing. I feel very blessed to have crossed their path this morning. Even if I had not been working, I would have stopped to watch them. They were so entertaining and fun.
I was dreading the work day, but I made it on time with a cup of coffee in hand. Right in front of me, in the middle of the mall, was a group of senior citizen uke players sitting in white chairs, red shirts, and Santa hats. The orchestra leader was an energetic lady with red and white socks and an Elf hat on. They were so full of spirit and happiness, and I watched and sang along with them. My spirit started to change a little. I remembered all I have to be thankful for this season, and I let my heart rest upon the beauty of the Christmas carols. Then, just as things were feeling sacred, the band started jamming out to "Let it Snow" and snowballs started to be thrown all over the place. A fake snowball fight? It was hilarious and joyous. I was smiling and delighted. People might pass and think "those funny old people", but what people should think is "those wonderful old people making music for the world to hear."
I watched as the band got up and the orchestra leader announced, "We're all going to Cheesecake Factory now for some cheesecake!" This group of people make me glad. They are reveling in the joy of life- music, friendship, food, sharing. I feel very blessed to have crossed their path this morning. Even if I had not been working, I would have stopped to watch them. They were so entertaining and fun.
Life is harder than it used to be
People are on Match
looking for a date
trying to find a friend
before it's too late
They spiffy up their profiles
and take nice selfies
well back when Pappy met Grandma
on a street named Hickory
There was something called courting
and something called romance
There was talking and laughing
and invitations to go dance
Life's not as easy as facebook makes it seem
Being at the beach isn't everything
It's hard to find a man, hard to own your land
You're no longer valued for who you are,
Hell, it's hard to keep a trusty car
Life is harder than it used to be
Life's not as easy as it would seem
There's lots of setbacks, lots of pain
Just when we're set, everything can change..
Just when we're set, everything can change...
looking for a date
trying to find a friend
before it's too late
They spiffy up their profiles
and take nice selfies
well back when Pappy met Grandma
on a street named Hickory
There was something called courting
and something called romance
There was talking and laughing
and invitations to go dance
Life's not as easy as facebook makes it seem
Being at the beach isn't everything
It's hard to find a man, hard to own your land
You're no longer valued for who you are,
Hell, it's hard to keep a trusty car
Life is harder than it used to be
Life's not as easy as it would seem
There's lots of setbacks, lots of pain
Just when we're set, everything can change..
Just when we're set, everything can change...
Monday, December 1, 2014
Monday Night Dinner
I took the time to make myself a "special" dinner tonight. I always eat at home but lately there have been more sandwiches and cereal as I a race to the next gig. I've been craving hot, warm chicken and comfort classic green bean casserole! I'll have to do this one again! It was very yummy and exceptionally easy and cheap. Three cans of French green beans drained, one can of condensed chicken soup, and fried onions on top. Add cheese if desired. Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees. Here's my dinner... a little blurry but awfully good!
Monday, November 24, 2014
Tucson and Many Good Things
Today was such a good day. To be honest, I have been feeling wonderfully content and happy lately. I feel like the last few months I've had a tough road, but I'm feeling settled in, at home, and with purpose. I was holding on tightly to the nostalgia of Maine without fully embracing and recognizing the things I have to gain right here. I've realized that no matter where I have lived, I have found beauty, stories, lessons.
We went bowling at work today which was so much fun. I loved seeing the smiles on the faces of the participants that realize that they can do it by themselves and that they are capable of awesome scores. It was great fun. I think field trips are one of my favorite parts of the job, sharing experiences and fun moments.
Another exciting thing that happened is I started doing some research on future goals. I want to be able to host my friend Naomi well when she comes to visit in January. I've started researching car rentals, adventure ideas, etc., and it will be possible for me to rent a car for the week! I am looking forward to her visit so much. I'm also looking into going back to school at University of Arizona to get my TEFL certificate. It is a 100 hour class which would last approximately two months. I want to do it! I may not be able to do it until next year, but I am excited about the plan and dream. Goals are so important, yes? Yes!
After work I went to the bank to deposit some checks and I decided to spontaneously get my hair cut. I just got it trimmed. It has been months since I had a trim and probably a year since I had any kind of hair dye in it. It feels good (and cheaper) to go natural, and it was such a nice treat to get it shaped up and styled. The women in the salon were amazed that I had moved to Tucson all by myself from out of state. They were nice- their quaint little beauty salon was decorated with all kinds of Thanksgiving decorations. I also got my eyebrows waxed for ten dollars. The lady asked me "It's been awhile, huh?" It's so relaxing to have your head scrubbed up well by another person, and I always feel so much better after a wax.
What also made this day great? Leftovers that I made last night and heated up tonight- spicy turkey chili and a fresh batch of homemade guacamole and chips. Yummy.
I went to my thrift store and discovered that they had CHRISTMAS TREES and all kinds of CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS. I didn't let myself go crazy, but I did allow myself to buy a Christmas tree. I didn't think I would get one this year because they are so expensive, but lo and behold I found a Christmas tree for five dollars! I'm starting to get excited about Christmas! Pretty soon I will be pulling out the Christmas records and sending out my cards...
Today was a good day. Maybe it was the crispness in the air mixed with the bright sunshine or the fact that they turned my heat on or I noticed Brent's smile...
I have much to be thankful for right now.
We went bowling at work today which was so much fun. I loved seeing the smiles on the faces of the participants that realize that they can do it by themselves and that they are capable of awesome scores. It was great fun. I think field trips are one of my favorite parts of the job, sharing experiences and fun moments.
Another exciting thing that happened is I started doing some research on future goals. I want to be able to host my friend Naomi well when she comes to visit in January. I've started researching car rentals, adventure ideas, etc., and it will be possible for me to rent a car for the week! I am looking forward to her visit so much. I'm also looking into going back to school at University of Arizona to get my TEFL certificate. It is a 100 hour class which would last approximately two months. I want to do it! I may not be able to do it until next year, but I am excited about the plan and dream. Goals are so important, yes? Yes!
After work I went to the bank to deposit some checks and I decided to spontaneously get my hair cut. I just got it trimmed. It has been months since I had a trim and probably a year since I had any kind of hair dye in it. It feels good (and cheaper) to go natural, and it was such a nice treat to get it shaped up and styled. The women in the salon were amazed that I had moved to Tucson all by myself from out of state. They were nice- their quaint little beauty salon was decorated with all kinds of Thanksgiving decorations. I also got my eyebrows waxed for ten dollars. The lady asked me "It's been awhile, huh?" It's so relaxing to have your head scrubbed up well by another person, and I always feel so much better after a wax.
What also made this day great? Leftovers that I made last night and heated up tonight- spicy turkey chili and a fresh batch of homemade guacamole and chips. Yummy.
I went to my thrift store and discovered that they had CHRISTMAS TREES and all kinds of CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS. I didn't let myself go crazy, but I did allow myself to buy a Christmas tree. I didn't think I would get one this year because they are so expensive, but lo and behold I found a Christmas tree for five dollars! I'm starting to get excited about Christmas! Pretty soon I will be pulling out the Christmas records and sending out my cards...
Today was a good day. Maybe it was the crispness in the air mixed with the bright sunshine or the fact that they turned my heat on or I noticed Brent's smile...
I have much to be thankful for right now.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Brittany
When I was a young teenager I desperately wanted to make money of my own so that I could buy a guitar. A nice guitar. I decided to try babysitting since I wasn't old enough to get legally employed. I handed out fliers all throughout my neighborhood and got many calls.
I remember my first Friday night being picked up by Brittany's dad, John, and meeting Brittany for the first time. She was shy but presented me with a piece of colored art, hugged me, and I noticed her brown hair, brown eyes, and polite manner. She was an only child with a 40ish year old dad that was busy with a car dealership and a new step mom that was teeny tiny, a substitute teacher that sometimes blended in with the elementary kids. Her name was Jill and she was 25. Believe it or not, she seemed kind of old to me back then.
I ended up becoming a regular at the Howerton home. Every Friday night and sometimes Friday and Saturday night I would plan on being picked up to "babysit" Brittany. I enjoyed myself thoroughly. I loved spending time with Brittany- we watched movies, ate together, talked, and I remember singing and dancing with her to Mariah Carey's "Hero". I also remember her asthma treatments and tucking her in to bed. To me, time before bed is the sweetest with kids. They are so tender and innocent, so dreamy and imaginative, so vulnerable to their hurts and pains. Brittany was a fun, beautiful girl, but I also felt she was lonely. She lived in a big home as an only child with a new step mom that was learning how to parent, and she missed her mother. Her mother was fighting her own demons at the time of alcoholism, and I think that was very tough on Britt. She confided in me about her mom and also about how weird it was to have a step mom that looked like she was Britt's nine year old size. She also loved having her back rubbed at night.
I was just a young teenager at the time, and I suppose I was also very lonely myself. I was also living in a home where I felt alone and with parents that I didn't understand. I honestly don't have a lot of memories or recollection of my life before 20, but I still can see Brittany- meeting her for the first time- peeking out with her crayons and papers.
All of these years I have thought of her and how fun it would be to find her again and reconnect. I could find her on facebook and see the beautiful woman she has become. I figured she was married, had a boyfriend, maybe children, had a very bright future. I have looked for her and this weekend I did a more thorough research. What I discovered was heart wrenching. I cried and cried. Brittany died at age 18 shortly after graduating from Riverdale High School. I have reached out to the parents to express my sympathy and memories, but I haven't heard anything from them yet. I just wanted to share how blessed I feel that I knew and loved Brittany. She opened my life to the heart of caring for a child and that has been such a gift to me. She was the very beginning of something special to me.
I have been thinking about her death at 18 and my life at 18 up until now, 35. Sometimes I feel very down on myself, but I am thankful for the life I've lived and sorry that Brittany did not experience more. Since the age of 18, I have enjoyed so many precious friendships, travels, adventures, loves, growth, failures, education, service, work, beauty. Brittany did not have the opportunity to grow into being a woman, possibly grow more into being herself.
Even though I only knew Brittany when she was around 9-10 years of age, I miss her and miss knowing that she's out there in this world living her life.
I remember my first Friday night being picked up by Brittany's dad, John, and meeting Brittany for the first time. She was shy but presented me with a piece of colored art, hugged me, and I noticed her brown hair, brown eyes, and polite manner. She was an only child with a 40ish year old dad that was busy with a car dealership and a new step mom that was teeny tiny, a substitute teacher that sometimes blended in with the elementary kids. Her name was Jill and she was 25. Believe it or not, she seemed kind of old to me back then.
I ended up becoming a regular at the Howerton home. Every Friday night and sometimes Friday and Saturday night I would plan on being picked up to "babysit" Brittany. I enjoyed myself thoroughly. I loved spending time with Brittany- we watched movies, ate together, talked, and I remember singing and dancing with her to Mariah Carey's "Hero". I also remember her asthma treatments and tucking her in to bed. To me, time before bed is the sweetest with kids. They are so tender and innocent, so dreamy and imaginative, so vulnerable to their hurts and pains. Brittany was a fun, beautiful girl, but I also felt she was lonely. She lived in a big home as an only child with a new step mom that was learning how to parent, and she missed her mother. Her mother was fighting her own demons at the time of alcoholism, and I think that was very tough on Britt. She confided in me about her mom and also about how weird it was to have a step mom that looked like she was Britt's nine year old size. She also loved having her back rubbed at night.
I was just a young teenager at the time, and I suppose I was also very lonely myself. I was also living in a home where I felt alone and with parents that I didn't understand. I honestly don't have a lot of memories or recollection of my life before 20, but I still can see Brittany- meeting her for the first time- peeking out with her crayons and papers.
All of these years I have thought of her and how fun it would be to find her again and reconnect. I could find her on facebook and see the beautiful woman she has become. I figured she was married, had a boyfriend, maybe children, had a very bright future. I have looked for her and this weekend I did a more thorough research. What I discovered was heart wrenching. I cried and cried. Brittany died at age 18 shortly after graduating from Riverdale High School. I have reached out to the parents to express my sympathy and memories, but I haven't heard anything from them yet. I just wanted to share how blessed I feel that I knew and loved Brittany. She opened my life to the heart of caring for a child and that has been such a gift to me. She was the very beginning of something special to me.
I have been thinking about her death at 18 and my life at 18 up until now, 35. Sometimes I feel very down on myself, but I am thankful for the life I've lived and sorry that Brittany did not experience more. Since the age of 18, I have enjoyed so many precious friendships, travels, adventures, loves, growth, failures, education, service, work, beauty. Brittany did not have the opportunity to grow into being a woman, possibly grow more into being herself.
Even though I only knew Brittany when she was around 9-10 years of age, I miss her and miss knowing that she's out there in this world living her life.
Monday, November 10, 2014
Food and Farming
Sometimes I miss my farming days. I realize as I write this that it sounds like my farming days were many, but I only farmed for a season. It was the first time I grew anything in my life. I learned so much working that season at the farm that it's almost hard to put it into words. I think I almost feel certain things in my life are so sacred that I don't want to expose them to everyone, and sometimes I like to sit with things for a long time and process. This is why, I suppose, we have so many stories to tell when we are in our rockers.
I'm still wrestling with what makes me tick, what I love, what I want to do with my one precious life. I've taken many roads and discovered lots of things I despised- labs with no windows, piles of mice, helping a dentist, cleaning up toilets, ringing people up at a convenience store. I'm sure I could think of plenty more. It's not that I'm too good for those jobs, but it's that I've done them for survival and would love to expand myself. Farming is something that has stuck with me as something I love.
One thing that brings people to a farm, I believe, is a love of food. Good farmers eat well. I learned again the joy of simple meals- back when cellars, canning, storage and preservation were always in style. The managers of the farm, Steve and Cindy, were brilliant, industrious, true Mainers. I admired the way they had built a home for themselves, made their own wine, and at any point might have thirty or forty jars of jams/jellies on hand. They never wanted to go out to eat, because they cooked everything better. How can one person hold so much knowledge, skill, craft? Cindy had elaborate, elegant handwriting, and I could easily picture her in older school teaching days dressed to the nines and in heels. She still had such class in her blue jeans, straw hat, and blue eyes. Steve, a retired chemist, knew weather patterns, garlic weaving, sheep skinning, and a million other things. He also had a wicked dry sense of humor. Every day was a treat because these people were my managers. We gabbed about the rich people in Northeast Harbor, about all the kids at COA that look like they don't have money but are little trust fund babies. I learned a little bit about their life and outlook every day. They were against technology, and they felt for farmers. My awareness of how hard farming is grew, and I wanted to support the small man more than ever. I learned so much from these people and the other people I worked with at the farm- Richie, Derek, David, Sarah, Bridgette and Rebecca.
I gathered eggs from the chickens, cleaned out chicken coops, mothered chicks and baby turkeys and watched them grow and unfold. I saw Richie drum his Indian beats and get them excited. I watched the beauty of a mother Hen shield and protect her babies literally right under her wings, keeping them warm and safe. We checked on the sheep every day and I saw how stupid they are in their ways. They follow in a pack, bumping heads, easily frightened, but they recognize the familiar voice. It was a beautiful picture of Christ, the Shepherd, and I, the sheep. There's nothing like seeing it for yourself and experiencing the "metaphor".
I loved watering the plants, planting tomatoes, cucumbers (HUGE), lettuce (so many kinds), carrots, radishes, basil, parsley, lavender, potatoes, beans (my absolute favorite to pick!) I loved the purple beans and raw! We also grew kale, spinach (fresh spinach!), carrots, beets, kohlrabi (a beautiful vegetable that was new to me- purple and green in our greenhouse), squash, pumpkins, berries, rosemary, and on and on. The work was hard, and it rained a lot that summer, but I loved being outside, working in the sun, being free, learning about something I've always dreamed about doing and in my blood.
I remember feeling how I could never go back to the grocery store and see it the same way while I was at the farm. Just as I feel a person is "ruined" after they've lived on the coast, I feel "ruined" by fresh eggs, fresh everything! Every time I go to the grocery store and pick up eggs, I feel a little disappointed, and I miss my farming days. I learned from Steve and Cindy how a good meal can consist of a simple side like pickles- that's the way people used to eat. They preserved the fresh vegetables for out of season times, so they could still eat gloriously healthy foods.
I am getting older. We all are. I know my body aches and pains only increase with time, but I do enjoy the physical labor involved with farming. I like being worn out at the end of the day. I like working through things in my soul as I weed, plant, water, restore. I also know that farming is a difficult job. I feel I connect most to the land, not the city. I connect most to nature, not the rat race.
I experienced farming, and I've been ruined.
I'm still wrestling with what makes me tick, what I love, what I want to do with my one precious life. I've taken many roads and discovered lots of things I despised- labs with no windows, piles of mice, helping a dentist, cleaning up toilets, ringing people up at a convenience store. I'm sure I could think of plenty more. It's not that I'm too good for those jobs, but it's that I've done them for survival and would love to expand myself. Farming is something that has stuck with me as something I love.
One thing that brings people to a farm, I believe, is a love of food. Good farmers eat well. I learned again the joy of simple meals- back when cellars, canning, storage and preservation were always in style. The managers of the farm, Steve and Cindy, were brilliant, industrious, true Mainers. I admired the way they had built a home for themselves, made their own wine, and at any point might have thirty or forty jars of jams/jellies on hand. They never wanted to go out to eat, because they cooked everything better. How can one person hold so much knowledge, skill, craft? Cindy had elaborate, elegant handwriting, and I could easily picture her in older school teaching days dressed to the nines and in heels. She still had such class in her blue jeans, straw hat, and blue eyes. Steve, a retired chemist, knew weather patterns, garlic weaving, sheep skinning, and a million other things. He also had a wicked dry sense of humor. Every day was a treat because these people were my managers. We gabbed about the rich people in Northeast Harbor, about all the kids at COA that look like they don't have money but are little trust fund babies. I learned a little bit about their life and outlook every day. They were against technology, and they felt for farmers. My awareness of how hard farming is grew, and I wanted to support the small man more than ever. I learned so much from these people and the other people I worked with at the farm- Richie, Derek, David, Sarah, Bridgette and Rebecca.
I gathered eggs from the chickens, cleaned out chicken coops, mothered chicks and baby turkeys and watched them grow and unfold. I saw Richie drum his Indian beats and get them excited. I watched the beauty of a mother Hen shield and protect her babies literally right under her wings, keeping them warm and safe. We checked on the sheep every day and I saw how stupid they are in their ways. They follow in a pack, bumping heads, easily frightened, but they recognize the familiar voice. It was a beautiful picture of Christ, the Shepherd, and I, the sheep. There's nothing like seeing it for yourself and experiencing the "metaphor".
I loved watering the plants, planting tomatoes, cucumbers (HUGE), lettuce (so many kinds), carrots, radishes, basil, parsley, lavender, potatoes, beans (my absolute favorite to pick!) I loved the purple beans and raw! We also grew kale, spinach (fresh spinach!), carrots, beets, kohlrabi (a beautiful vegetable that was new to me- purple and green in our greenhouse), squash, pumpkins, berries, rosemary, and on and on. The work was hard, and it rained a lot that summer, but I loved being outside, working in the sun, being free, learning about something I've always dreamed about doing and in my blood.
I remember feeling how I could never go back to the grocery store and see it the same way while I was at the farm. Just as I feel a person is "ruined" after they've lived on the coast, I feel "ruined" by fresh eggs, fresh everything! Every time I go to the grocery store and pick up eggs, I feel a little disappointed, and I miss my farming days. I learned from Steve and Cindy how a good meal can consist of a simple side like pickles- that's the way people used to eat. They preserved the fresh vegetables for out of season times, so they could still eat gloriously healthy foods.
I am getting older. We all are. I know my body aches and pains only increase with time, but I do enjoy the physical labor involved with farming. I like being worn out at the end of the day. I like working through things in my soul as I weed, plant, water, restore. I also know that farming is a difficult job. I feel I connect most to the land, not the city. I connect most to nature, not the rat race.
I experienced farming, and I've been ruined.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Weekend
It is Monday morning, and I am up early. One irritation at AmeriCorps Arts for All is that my schedule changes weekly. I get used to waking up at 6 am and the next week I don't have to be there till 10. We have to be flexible.
This weekend I rested. I feel like the attempted break in wiped me out more than I realized. Not only did I not get much sleep, but I was emotionally exhausted too. I rested a lot this weekend, but I also did the following:
1) I worked my Saturday job and put the turtles into hibernation, covered with a blanket and sleeping bag. I also did a lot of other miscellaneous jobs, but that was probably the highlight- or most interesting.
2) I made a lot of food. I made myself a delicious smoothie- adding a scoop of peanut butter. So good! I also made cucumber salad, letting it saturate for at least 3 hours in the fridge with vinegar, water, sugar, salt, and pepper. I made my go to black bean salad, mac and cheese, and a delicious salad.
3) I lit candles and slept.
4) I applied to a seasonal job at the Tucson Mall. I applied to two places- See's Candies and Hickory Farms. I'm excited to work a lot through the season, be around people, and make some extra money. I hope I hear from someone today. If not, I'll get myself back in there.
5) Rachel Ray- I watched some of her shows. She is pretty great!
This weekend I rested. I feel like the attempted break in wiped me out more than I realized. Not only did I not get much sleep, but I was emotionally exhausted too. I rested a lot this weekend, but I also did the following:
1) I worked my Saturday job and put the turtles into hibernation, covered with a blanket and sleeping bag. I also did a lot of other miscellaneous jobs, but that was probably the highlight- or most interesting.
2) I made a lot of food. I made myself a delicious smoothie- adding a scoop of peanut butter. So good! I also made cucumber salad, letting it saturate for at least 3 hours in the fridge with vinegar, water, sugar, salt, and pepper. I made my go to black bean salad, mac and cheese, and a delicious salad.
3) I lit candles and slept.
4) I applied to a seasonal job at the Tucson Mall. I applied to two places- See's Candies and Hickory Farms. I'm excited to work a lot through the season, be around people, and make some extra money. I hope I hear from someone today. If not, I'll get myself back in there.
5) Rachel Ray- I watched some of her shows. She is pretty great!
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Thursday Morning
Thursday morning at 1:14 I awoke to a shadow next to my bedroom window. I had been hearing noise (typical) but I awoke because this noise was getting closer to me. I caught a glimpse of a short, thin man dark skinned (Asian, African American, Hispanic- not sure) working fiercely on my bedroom window.
I reached for my phone and called a friend. What do I do? Luckily I have some smart friends, and he instructed me to call 911 immediately. I did and the police came in a matter of minutes. The man disappeared and then I caught a glimpse of him again on my patio. While talking to the operator, I fell into a panic. My heart started racing, and my thoughts were racing.
The police came with blinding lights, and both of the gentlemen walked up to my door to ask for some information. My window was damaged- the screen had been ripped into and was hanging by a loose thread.
Two hours later I awoke to more voices outside my window. I couldn't sleep and was sensitive to every little sound. I looked out my window and saw that the cops had returned with someone in the back seat. The man was pounding his feet in the back of the car, and the cops were shining a light on him. I hoped it was the guy who had damaged my window. A few minutes later one of the cops came up my stairs to tell me that they found the guy and I could press charges. Yes!
The next day I went to my apartment complex to turn in the police report and see about getting my window fixed and locks checked.
Psalm 91 verse 5- "You will not fear the terror of night nor the arrow that flies by day."
I want to refuge in You, Lord. Hide me under Your wings.
I'll be honest, this shook me up pretty badly and I haven't had the most sound sleep or pleasant dreams. My heart goes out to people that have experienced more than what I did- rape, assault, burglary. It is scary stuff, but I learned to respond better. Next time (if this happens) I'll immediately call 911, and I will continue to trust deeper in the Lord's protection and peace.
I am so thankful for people that risk their own safety for mine, cops who work late long hours, go over details, and truly fight injustice. I've never been so grateful!
I reached for my phone and called a friend. What do I do? Luckily I have some smart friends, and he instructed me to call 911 immediately. I did and the police came in a matter of minutes. The man disappeared and then I caught a glimpse of him again on my patio. While talking to the operator, I fell into a panic. My heart started racing, and my thoughts were racing.
The police came with blinding lights, and both of the gentlemen walked up to my door to ask for some information. My window was damaged- the screen had been ripped into and was hanging by a loose thread.
Two hours later I awoke to more voices outside my window. I couldn't sleep and was sensitive to every little sound. I looked out my window and saw that the cops had returned with someone in the back seat. The man was pounding his feet in the back of the car, and the cops were shining a light on him. I hoped it was the guy who had damaged my window. A few minutes later one of the cops came up my stairs to tell me that they found the guy and I could press charges. Yes!
The next day I went to my apartment complex to turn in the police report and see about getting my window fixed and locks checked.
Psalm 91 verse 5- "You will not fear the terror of night nor the arrow that flies by day."
I want to refuge in You, Lord. Hide me under Your wings.
I'll be honest, this shook me up pretty badly and I haven't had the most sound sleep or pleasant dreams. My heart goes out to people that have experienced more than what I did- rape, assault, burglary. It is scary stuff, but I learned to respond better. Next time (if this happens) I'll immediately call 911, and I will continue to trust deeper in the Lord's protection and peace.
I am so thankful for people that risk their own safety for mine, cops who work late long hours, go over details, and truly fight injustice. I've never been so grateful!
Saturday, October 25, 2014
One Week
Last week at this time I was getting ready to go to work (Saturday job). After I rode for about three miles, I started throwing up along the side of the road. It came on very suddenly. I thought it might have been something I ate, because I seemed to feel better afterwards. Well, I started working and began to feel dizzy and sick. I plopped down on my employer's patio. I spread my body out and relaxed. I had to summon the strength to water the turtles before I left for the day.
I called a lady I know with a truck (my bike is heavy!) and she came and got me around the Sonic location. I had biked a couple miles, and I didn't see how I was going to make it home. What a relief to receive her help.
I had the chills, no appetite, and felt awful for a couple days. I called in sick to work on Monday (along with eight other people!) and went back to work on Tuesday.
All week I haven't felt like myself. I've worked and done a good job, but as soon as I come home, I throw on my pajamas and go to bed. I guess I'm still recovering.
I've watched a lot of the Gilmore Girls. I've listened to a lot of radio.
This has been my week, but it's been good for me. Sometimes it's okay to not do anything, to not put demands on yourself, to slow down.
Things can wait. People can wait. You have to be healthy.
I called a lady I know with a truck (my bike is heavy!) and she came and got me around the Sonic location. I had biked a couple miles, and I didn't see how I was going to make it home. What a relief to receive her help.
I had the chills, no appetite, and felt awful for a couple days. I called in sick to work on Monday (along with eight other people!) and went back to work on Tuesday.
All week I haven't felt like myself. I've worked and done a good job, but as soon as I come home, I throw on my pajamas and go to bed. I guess I'm still recovering.
I've watched a lot of the Gilmore Girls. I've listened to a lot of radio.
This has been my week, but it's been good for me. Sometimes it's okay to not do anything, to not put demands on yourself, to slow down.
Things can wait. People can wait. You have to be healthy.
Monday, October 20, 2014
Maine and Belonging
I don't remember saying this, but my Grandma told me that while riding in the back of a car with her and at a very young age, I turned to her and said, "I don't belong in this family." I don't remember the words, but I remember the feeling. For much of my life, this feeling has stayed with me.
I remember studying Maslow's pyramid of needs and being fixated with the "feeling of belonging". As I looked at it, the rawness of the need was felt deep in me. Do we all struggle with this through life? I know that I have struggled feeling like I belong. At my Grandma's funeral, I knew none of the stories shared by others, and on my other side of the family, I'm too liberal for their panty hose wearing. I think I was lost in the world of my brother's and sister's ambitions (inflicted by our parents) and never belonged. Between baseball/Air force and singing/softball, I didn't belong. My parents, of course, did not make me feel that I belonged because a big part of belonging is being loved and accepted for who you are, right where you are...
I was a Christian with strong beliefs and deep love for God that didn't fit in with many Christian circles. I was a non- traditional student going back to college at a predominately young college. I was friends with people that had holidays to look forward to, family reunions, birthday parties, graduation parties, phone calls from their Moms and Dads... I was a hard working server that didn't party. I was a flirt that didn't date. My parents cared about cars and clothes and I hated every moment spent in malls and fancy restaurants. I was a medium sized girl with an eating disorder that couldn't fit into our skinny sized world.
Maine changed me, and that's why it will always be a special place to me. Maybe it wasn't Maine, maybe it was the time, maturity, growth, and God's hand in my life, but I finally belonged in Maine. I worked hard to carve a path, to establish roots, to build a community, and it filled my soul to overflowing. It was a combination of so many things... it was the warm hug from my Pastor, the battered hard wood floor in the church sanctuary, the singing church bells at noon. It was also the friendly stop at Town Hill Market and a chat with Lilea, Carrie, or Richard. It was talking about the weather and our daily lives. It was the familiar roads, Crooked and Knox, and the ride along the ocean. It was weekly gatherings with friends around a round table to pray, give thanks, bless, encourage, and laugh. It was friends that invited me into their families, to stay up late, go on hikes, car rides, coffee, home made meals, fairs and sit by the fire. It was me being accepted for the person that I am and giving and receiving from others. It was friendship and love.
It was a sweet time in my life, and I miss it.
I remember studying Maslow's pyramid of needs and being fixated with the "feeling of belonging". As I looked at it, the rawness of the need was felt deep in me. Do we all struggle with this through life? I know that I have struggled feeling like I belong. At my Grandma's funeral, I knew none of the stories shared by others, and on my other side of the family, I'm too liberal for their panty hose wearing. I think I was lost in the world of my brother's and sister's ambitions (inflicted by our parents) and never belonged. Between baseball/Air force and singing/softball, I didn't belong. My parents, of course, did not make me feel that I belonged because a big part of belonging is being loved and accepted for who you are, right where you are...
I was a Christian with strong beliefs and deep love for God that didn't fit in with many Christian circles. I was a non- traditional student going back to college at a predominately young college. I was friends with people that had holidays to look forward to, family reunions, birthday parties, graduation parties, phone calls from their Moms and Dads... I was a hard working server that didn't party. I was a flirt that didn't date. My parents cared about cars and clothes and I hated every moment spent in malls and fancy restaurants. I was a medium sized girl with an eating disorder that couldn't fit into our skinny sized world.
Maine changed me, and that's why it will always be a special place to me. Maybe it wasn't Maine, maybe it was the time, maturity, growth, and God's hand in my life, but I finally belonged in Maine. I worked hard to carve a path, to establish roots, to build a community, and it filled my soul to overflowing. It was a combination of so many things... it was the warm hug from my Pastor, the battered hard wood floor in the church sanctuary, the singing church bells at noon. It was also the friendly stop at Town Hill Market and a chat with Lilea, Carrie, or Richard. It was talking about the weather and our daily lives. It was the familiar roads, Crooked and Knox, and the ride along the ocean. It was weekly gatherings with friends around a round table to pray, give thanks, bless, encourage, and laugh. It was friends that invited me into their families, to stay up late, go on hikes, car rides, coffee, home made meals, fairs and sit by the fire. It was me being accepted for the person that I am and giving and receiving from others. It was friendship and love.
It was a sweet time in my life, and I miss it.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Lee Ann
Last night I went out on the town. It was such a great day- a day off from work to do whatever the hell I wanted to. Gosh, I love those kind of days. They are so sweet especially when you are working hard and focusing your energy on others. I spent the day doing some shopping, swimming, taking a nap, cooking, and going downtown.
I've lived in Tucson for almost three months, but I haven't been out all that much. My first month was spent taking care of a lot of things like driver's license, background check, and settling in to my new place. I love getting out when I can, especially now that the weather is so amazing. It's hot still in the days but there's usually a nice breeze and in the morning and night the air is cool, and there are outstanding sunrises and sunsets. Often there is a soft wind to wash over you, too.
Every time I go downtown I realize more and more what a fun and lively city Tucson is at night. Now that it is autumn, downtown is getting even more exciting with all kinds of shops, restaurants, entertainment, museums, and fairs. I spent a little time walking around- I went to the downtown library and saw great art work displayed by the participants I work with! I saw this beautiful church...
My concert at the Fox Tucson Theater started at 7:30 and I wandered over and inside at around 7:00. It is such a great building, very vintage and cozy. People are free to stop at concessions and have popcorn, beer, wine, coke, or a drink of their choice. I found my seat and was delighted by how wonderful it was. Center stage about five rows up!
The opening act for Lee Ann, the Brothers, was great. These guys are from Canada! I especially enjoyed their Cowboy lullaby and the old Gospel number they rocked, "Jesus on the Mainline". Loved it! They seemed like sweet guys, too, and all of them had great hair. (Jealous!)
Lee Ann came out and was beautiful in a black dress above the knees and sheer covering her arms and bottom of the dress. She had on some high heel black boots and looked ravishing with her long blond curls and signature striking blue eyes. She sang so many songs! It was such a treat. I was telling a co-worker this morning about it, and he commented to me that hearing a concert where the musicians care so much is such a rare gift. It's true. The musicians were top notch, violins, bass, drums, guitar- four band members and Lee Ann. She sang a wide range of songs from gospel to bluegrass to old country and many of her hits. She honored the songwriters, herself included. She mentioned that "Twenty Years and Two Husbands Ago" is her story. She sang A Man of Constant Sorrow, I May Hate Myself in the Morning, I'll Think of a Reason Later, Lord, I Hope this is a Good Day, Last Call, and I Hope You Dance among many others.
I loved that this was LeeAnn's first concert on her 10 day tour promoting her first new album in seven years. She told us that the encore we gave her was her first since 2004. I'll tell you what I love about her music. She either writes or picks fantastic songs, and her voice sings out crisp and soulfully. Good music makes me feel things that I forget are even inside me.
I enjoyed being part of the crowd, too. There was an assortment of people all around me and made for some delightful people watching. I loved the men that came in with Southwestern long shirts with fancy Indian designs, leather vests, and big wide belts and Cowboy hats. There were women with long flowing blouses that gathered at the waist with wide belts, cowboy boots, and lots of jeans, blonde hair, and happy feelings. There were lovers, long time couples, people on dates, women that related to her songs and reminisced the break ups they've been through, and old ladies that still love to dance and drink.
Speaking of dancing, Lee Ann sang the song that "took her to the Opry". I can't help but think of all the times she sings "I Hope you Dance". Everyone is crazy about the song and many got out their phones just to record her singing it. Every lyric has great meaning, and it's a song filled with hope. As she was singing her gold winner, a couple in the first row got up and danced as she sang. The man twirled the tall, beautiful, red headed woman around and they danced tight and close. It was very sweet. Lee Ann blew them kisses.
It was a beautiful evening. I'm so thankful for great music and the chance to see it up close and live. It lifts my spirit and keeps it soaring.
I've lived in Tucson for almost three months, but I haven't been out all that much. My first month was spent taking care of a lot of things like driver's license, background check, and settling in to my new place. I love getting out when I can, especially now that the weather is so amazing. It's hot still in the days but there's usually a nice breeze and in the morning and night the air is cool, and there are outstanding sunrises and sunsets. Often there is a soft wind to wash over you, too.
Every time I go downtown I realize more and more what a fun and lively city Tucson is at night. Now that it is autumn, downtown is getting even more exciting with all kinds of shops, restaurants, entertainment, museums, and fairs. I spent a little time walking around- I went to the downtown library and saw great art work displayed by the participants I work with! I saw this beautiful church...
My concert at the Fox Tucson Theater started at 7:30 and I wandered over and inside at around 7:00. It is such a great building, very vintage and cozy. People are free to stop at concessions and have popcorn, beer, wine, coke, or a drink of their choice. I found my seat and was delighted by how wonderful it was. Center stage about five rows up!
The opening act for Lee Ann, the Brothers, was great. These guys are from Canada! I especially enjoyed their Cowboy lullaby and the old Gospel number they rocked, "Jesus on the Mainline". Loved it! They seemed like sweet guys, too, and all of them had great hair. (Jealous!)
Lee Ann came out and was beautiful in a black dress above the knees and sheer covering her arms and bottom of the dress. She had on some high heel black boots and looked ravishing with her long blond curls and signature striking blue eyes. She sang so many songs! It was such a treat. I was telling a co-worker this morning about it, and he commented to me that hearing a concert where the musicians care so much is such a rare gift. It's true. The musicians were top notch, violins, bass, drums, guitar- four band members and Lee Ann. She sang a wide range of songs from gospel to bluegrass to old country and many of her hits. She honored the songwriters, herself included. She mentioned that "Twenty Years and Two Husbands Ago" is her story. She sang A Man of Constant Sorrow, I May Hate Myself in the Morning, I'll Think of a Reason Later, Lord, I Hope this is a Good Day, Last Call, and I Hope You Dance among many others.
I loved that this was LeeAnn's first concert on her 10 day tour promoting her first new album in seven years. She told us that the encore we gave her was her first since 2004. I'll tell you what I love about her music. She either writes or picks fantastic songs, and her voice sings out crisp and soulfully. Good music makes me feel things that I forget are even inside me.
I enjoyed being part of the crowd, too. There was an assortment of people all around me and made for some delightful people watching. I loved the men that came in with Southwestern long shirts with fancy Indian designs, leather vests, and big wide belts and Cowboy hats. There were women with long flowing blouses that gathered at the waist with wide belts, cowboy boots, and lots of jeans, blonde hair, and happy feelings. There were lovers, long time couples, people on dates, women that related to her songs and reminisced the break ups they've been through, and old ladies that still love to dance and drink.
Speaking of dancing, Lee Ann sang the song that "took her to the Opry". I can't help but think of all the times she sings "I Hope you Dance". Everyone is crazy about the song and many got out their phones just to record her singing it. Every lyric has great meaning, and it's a song filled with hope. As she was singing her gold winner, a couple in the first row got up and danced as she sang. The man twirled the tall, beautiful, red headed woman around and they danced tight and close. It was very sweet. Lee Ann blew them kisses.
It was a beautiful evening. I'm so thankful for great music and the chance to see it up close and live. It lifts my spirit and keeps it soaring.
I'll Call Her Dee...
One of my favorite participants, I'll call her "Dee", blesses me every day. She is a woman in her late 30's, a colorful African American woman that wears dresses, lots of bracelets, lipstick, and carries a big purse. She has a mental disability, but to me, she is far above the rest of the world.
There are so many things I learn being around Dee. She enjoys life. When I'm out with Dee on a field trip, she is singing and dancing in the car, relishing her food, and shopping to her heart's content.
She calls me "Krissy" and is sweet to me. She will say "I hope you go on the field trip with us." and "I'll miss you when you're gone" (to the bathroom). She is very concerned with other people, always asking if this person is okay, and helping people come in and out of the door. When staff are absent, she leaves us little notes in our boxes. Yesterday I took a personal day and she left a little note in my box. She is very kind. One of the participants is sick in the hospital with the flu, and Dee is very intent on sending her a big card.
She also gave me one of her works of art today. I asked her if she was sure she wanted me to have it. She said yes. I told her I would think about her every time I look at it, and I would also keep it forever. I will- I have it in my living room on display.
The other thing I love about Dee is that she dreams big. She wants one child, a girl. She wants a Mexican wedding in a church, and she wants a man to bring her flowers and take her out to a fancy dinner. She buys a dress because she wants a man. She has dreams and they stay close to her heart and mind, and she's not afraid to keep believing in them. I love this about her.
There are so many things I learn being around Dee. She enjoys life. When I'm out with Dee on a field trip, she is singing and dancing in the car, relishing her food, and shopping to her heart's content.
She calls me "Krissy" and is sweet to me. She will say "I hope you go on the field trip with us." and "I'll miss you when you're gone" (to the bathroom). She is very concerned with other people, always asking if this person is okay, and helping people come in and out of the door. When staff are absent, she leaves us little notes in our boxes. Yesterday I took a personal day and she left a little note in my box. She is very kind. One of the participants is sick in the hospital with the flu, and Dee is very intent on sending her a big card.
She also gave me one of her works of art today. I asked her if she was sure she wanted me to have it. She said yes. I told her I would think about her every time I look at it, and I would also keep it forever. I will- I have it in my living room on display.
The other thing I love about Dee is that she dreams big. She wants one child, a girl. She wants a Mexican wedding in a church, and she wants a man to bring her flowers and take her out to a fancy dinner. She buys a dress because she wants a man. She has dreams and they stay close to her heart and mind, and she's not afraid to keep believing in them. I love this about her.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
tostadas turned tacos
I went to church this morning with a work friend, but as soon as I came home, I made these tostadas. I ended up eating them like tacos. So good! I roasted a chicken last night, shred some cheese, cut up a zucchini, added salsa, cumin, and a little heat from the oven...
I am resting this Sunday. Yesterday was such a busy day. I worked over five hours for C. I built a tunnel to plant leeks, planted and watered them in, ran errands, put together a fan, emptied trash, pulsed egg shells and kelp, took care of the turtles. It's cooling down and it was more than relaxing to sit on her back brick porch and pulse kelp, remembering the ocean smell so familiar to me.
I biked over 10 miles and am a little sore today. I looked at my body and noticed all these new bruises on my arms and legs. I have no idea where they came from... I bought groceries last night and started back at making smoothies. It feels good to be getting things done. I have laundry to put away, and a new week to get ready for now.
I am resting, though, with a good long nap, some strong coffee, and finishing up Ruth Reichl and starting Barbara Kingsolver.
This week is a new work schedule, one in which I am looking forward to with earlier times off. I'm also going to go see Lee Ann Womack at the Fox Theater Thursday night. I have three more concerts for this year- Lee Ann, Patty Griffin in November, and Judy Collins in December. How fun!
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Music Class
Yesterday in music class, Frank told the group in adult day program that we are all capable of something. We are all capable of giving love. Sometimes it is hard to love, but it is something that we all can offer and give.
I looked at the people around me, their idiosyncrasies, fixations and disabilities visible and invisible, but also at the concern that they share for each others, the smiles, the offer of cookies, lotion, the gentle hand rub and smile from a non-verbal man, and the sweet compliments.
We are all capable of love. We are all capable of giving love.
I admit that there are some people that have been in my life that I question whether they understand what it is to love, how to show love, how to feel love, how to live love. I don't know how it happened, how they lost sight of the beauty of loving a person, or even that this is the most important thing in life. Self protection? Insecurity? Money Cravings?
Others of us can feel like we're struggling and trying to find our way. What gifts are ours to share with the world? Well, we can love. We can all practice love, and giving love is an incredible gift that we should not think of as anything less than divine.
I looked at the people around me, their idiosyncrasies, fixations and disabilities visible and invisible, but also at the concern that they share for each others, the smiles, the offer of cookies, lotion, the gentle hand rub and smile from a non-verbal man, and the sweet compliments.
We are all capable of love. We are all capable of giving love.
I admit that there are some people that have been in my life that I question whether they understand what it is to love, how to show love, how to feel love, how to live love. I don't know how it happened, how they lost sight of the beauty of loving a person, or even that this is the most important thing in life. Self protection? Insecurity? Money Cravings?
Others of us can feel like we're struggling and trying to find our way. What gifts are ours to share with the world? Well, we can love. We can all practice love, and giving love is an incredible gift that we should not think of as anything less than divine.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
September Reflections
September is over. It's hard to believe, but I've already completed a month of service with AmeriCorps. I was officially inducted on Wednesday with four others (hopefully five), and I've been working a lot. I went on my first field trip with the day program this past week. I really enjoyed doing that, because I love exposing and involving my people to the community. I also love enriching peoples lives by tasting and trying new scenes. We went to the Miniature Museum and then over to Tucson Mall to eat. I drove the van, and I was gripping the steering wheel like I was about to have a baby! But I made it through, and we all got there safely and back to Arts for All.
I enjoy working with the adults. I feel like I'm already appreciating how they celebrate, care for each other, and express themselves with such vigor. I think of Tommy's smile and dancing, Olga's beautiful clothes and concerns, Roxanne's helpfulness, sweetness, big heart. I think I see how all of us have some basic needs, like looking nice and feeling good about ourselves, making friends, eating, thinking, learning, making phone calls, dreaming, having someone cheer us on. I say Hi to a participant every day but he is non-verbal and doesn't respond. Today after he danced with a staff member, I cheered and saw him smile. That made my day. I see the challenges that we all face, and individuals with disabilities face even more. I enjoyed describing things to one of our participants that is blind. I tried to help him see things with his hands, and I detailed what I was seeing to him. I was touched by his eagerness to take pictures and fascinated just as much. That's the thing- people are people and we all seem to want the same things. We want to share with others what we are experiencing, we want to be connected to the world, not isolated.
I haven't had much down time. I need my down time, and I find that when you care for others, you really need to make time to care for yourself. Last night I slept 14 hours. I've been going nonstop and exhausted from early mornings, long days, and late meetings. I have a little time at night, though, and sometimes in the mornings. I've been enjoying my Trader Joe's pumpkin spice coffee. Yum. So delicious!
I've also been relaxing with Ruth Reichl's food memoir, Garlic and Sapphires. It is the perfect light and interesting read. I am completely mesmerized by her stories and cleverness. If you haven't checked out her writing yet, stop reading and go do that immediately!
Inspired by one of her recipes, I cooked spaghetti carbonara tonight. I had all the ingredients- garlic, bacon, eggs, and spaghetti, but I didn't have any cheese on hand. I made it anyway, and it was so tasty. I can't wait to try it again with cheese. Sometimes you need a little pasta!
Tomorrow if Friday and the weekend if before us. I hope you all have a great weekend, and do something to care for your body and soul. There aren't any changing leaves here in Tucson, but there is a nice cool in the mornings and evening. Happy October, friends!
I enjoy working with the adults. I feel like I'm already appreciating how they celebrate, care for each other, and express themselves with such vigor. I think of Tommy's smile and dancing, Olga's beautiful clothes and concerns, Roxanne's helpfulness, sweetness, big heart. I think I see how all of us have some basic needs, like looking nice and feeling good about ourselves, making friends, eating, thinking, learning, making phone calls, dreaming, having someone cheer us on. I say Hi to a participant every day but he is non-verbal and doesn't respond. Today after he danced with a staff member, I cheered and saw him smile. That made my day. I see the challenges that we all face, and individuals with disabilities face even more. I enjoyed describing things to one of our participants that is blind. I tried to help him see things with his hands, and I detailed what I was seeing to him. I was touched by his eagerness to take pictures and fascinated just as much. That's the thing- people are people and we all seem to want the same things. We want to share with others what we are experiencing, we want to be connected to the world, not isolated.
I haven't had much down time. I need my down time, and I find that when you care for others, you really need to make time to care for yourself. Last night I slept 14 hours. I've been going nonstop and exhausted from early mornings, long days, and late meetings. I have a little time at night, though, and sometimes in the mornings. I've been enjoying my Trader Joe's pumpkin spice coffee. Yum. So delicious!
I've also been relaxing with Ruth Reichl's food memoir, Garlic and Sapphires. It is the perfect light and interesting read. I am completely mesmerized by her stories and cleverness. If you haven't checked out her writing yet, stop reading and go do that immediately!
Inspired by one of her recipes, I cooked spaghetti carbonara tonight. I had all the ingredients- garlic, bacon, eggs, and spaghetti, but I didn't have any cheese on hand. I made it anyway, and it was so tasty. I can't wait to try it again with cheese. Sometimes you need a little pasta!
Tomorrow if Friday and the weekend if before us. I hope you all have a great weekend, and do something to care for your body and soul. There aren't any changing leaves here in Tucson, but there is a nice cool in the mornings and evening. Happy October, friends!
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Busy... But... Rest...
Unfortunately, I have been neglecting this blog. Life has thrown me lots of plates to fix all at once. I've been going strong every day, working and training on weekends, and working for a lady outside on my day off. I have been at Arts for All now for almost a month, and it's been a really intense period of time. It's a completely new environment- working with people with various types of disabilities, learning how to help, how to drive, how to strap a person into a van when they're in a wheelchair, tips on feeding individuals, toileting, and working with the kids.
I'll be honest. Many things have pierced my heart in such a large way lately. I feel like along with the weight of lots of changes, physical exertion, and emotions, I've become a little comatose inside.
I learned that my friend across the street hopped a fence and crashed and burned his drug issues. I liked him. I am rooting for my neighbors, my friends across the street recovering, being restored. I want them to do well, and I hate knowing that C is out on the streets broke and alone. It felt so hard to understand, I saw him frequently. He knocked on the window and waved to me as I walked to work.
I started working with kids. I love kids, but I haven't had a lot of experience with them. I'm not a parent. I've done a lot of babysitting, worked as a nanny (to a baby- not a kid!), taught a little in church, and generally enjoyed being around kids. Well, I entered another world this past week. Kids back talking to authority, explicit conversations, violent tantrums of kicking and screaming, and general bad behavior.
When I went to put a child in my lap, I was reprimanded. "Boys at eight understand that you have breasts." I had a hard time understanding this. Where is the innocence?
I'm still processing this- the fact that kids are still kids but they have a layer of knowledge that has stripped them of basic simplicity. And I'm not sure I'm very capable.
I need to spend time in prayer, in God's Word, in being good to myself, and resting.
Today I had CPR and First Aid training with Save a Life. I am finally home with no where to go, no where to be, no one demanding I be at a meeting or work, and I breathe some relief.
I'm headed back to bed and giving my body and soul what it most needs right now- rest.
I'll be honest. Many things have pierced my heart in such a large way lately. I feel like along with the weight of lots of changes, physical exertion, and emotions, I've become a little comatose inside.
I learned that my friend across the street hopped a fence and crashed and burned his drug issues. I liked him. I am rooting for my neighbors, my friends across the street recovering, being restored. I want them to do well, and I hate knowing that C is out on the streets broke and alone. It felt so hard to understand, I saw him frequently. He knocked on the window and waved to me as I walked to work.
I started working with kids. I love kids, but I haven't had a lot of experience with them. I'm not a parent. I've done a lot of babysitting, worked as a nanny (to a baby- not a kid!), taught a little in church, and generally enjoyed being around kids. Well, I entered another world this past week. Kids back talking to authority, explicit conversations, violent tantrums of kicking and screaming, and general bad behavior.
When I went to put a child in my lap, I was reprimanded. "Boys at eight understand that you have breasts." I had a hard time understanding this. Where is the innocence?
I'm still processing this- the fact that kids are still kids but they have a layer of knowledge that has stripped them of basic simplicity. And I'm not sure I'm very capable.
I need to spend time in prayer, in God's Word, in being good to myself, and resting.
Today I had CPR and First Aid training with Save a Life. I am finally home with no where to go, no where to be, no one demanding I be at a meeting or work, and I breathe some relief.
I'm headed back to bed and giving my body and soul what it most needs right now- rest.
Saturday, September 13, 2014
It's My Party and I'll Cry If I want to...
It's my blog and I'll write want I want to...
It's been a long week, my friends. I've been adjusting to a new job the last two weeks with intense training and absorption of knowledge. I've started a second job working on the side for a woman. I run various errands for her- helping her with the turtles, planting, watering, etc., And I suppose even though I moved here August 1, I'm still settling in and figuring things out. I'm working on health insurance, a Doctor, a bus pass, getting around on a bicycle, finding a church, and little (but big) things like that.
I am still enjoying the pool in my backyard and taking nice long laps after work or going to zumba. I feel free whenever I ride my bicycle, like a little kid, exploring her new big city. I've been watching old VHS tapes on my "new" television. Tonight I watched You've Got Mail. There are so many things I love about this movie, and I catch new things each time I watch it. One thing I loved about it tonight is how Karen Kelly lost her job- the job she envisioned for herself forever- , but when things shifted, she was able to see that it might be a chance for her to do new things. Bravery. Might I add that I love Tom Hanks? It's been said many times, but the chemistry is a beautiful thing to watch between Tom and Meg. I'd like to sit on the porch and drink lemonade with Mr. Hanks.
One thing I love about people is a lack of pretention. I think no matter how hard we try to not give in to consumer pressure, we all fall prey to peer pressure. I remember as a little girl wanting the special Eastland shoes that didn't tie but knotted on the sides. I wanted them because the other girls had them. I also wanted hair styles like the other girls had- long hair with intricate braids when mine was short and flat. The temptation is always there, but reminding myself of how many blessings I have now is key. For instance, almost everyone I know seems to have a fancy phone where they connect to the Internet, use maps, listen to music, share pictures, and a million other things. A co-worker at the Space Needle even jostled me about my phone, "Wow, I haven't seen one of those in a long time." Well, here's what I love about me. I like having one foot back in the dirt. I like my VHS tapes, my library card, my National Geographic magazines, my old lazy boy, and cooking meals instead of fancy meals out. I like my flip phone because it's simple and easy, and I feel fortunate to even have a phone. This week we were meeting with another AmeriCorps member, and he talked about how he didn't have a fancy phone like everybody else. I liked this. I like that he's living within his means and not falling into trends that aren't necessary. No, I don't think fancy phones are bad, but I think we all get carried away with too many things.
It's been a long week, my friends. I've been adjusting to a new job the last two weeks with intense training and absorption of knowledge. I've started a second job working on the side for a woman. I run various errands for her- helping her with the turtles, planting, watering, etc., And I suppose even though I moved here August 1, I'm still settling in and figuring things out. I'm working on health insurance, a Doctor, a bus pass, getting around on a bicycle, finding a church, and little (but big) things like that.
I am still enjoying the pool in my backyard and taking nice long laps after work or going to zumba. I feel free whenever I ride my bicycle, like a little kid, exploring her new big city. I've been watching old VHS tapes on my "new" television. Tonight I watched You've Got Mail. There are so many things I love about this movie, and I catch new things each time I watch it. One thing I loved about it tonight is how Karen Kelly lost her job- the job she envisioned for herself forever- , but when things shifted, she was able to see that it might be a chance for her to do new things. Bravery. Might I add that I love Tom Hanks? It's been said many times, but the chemistry is a beautiful thing to watch between Tom and Meg. I'd like to sit on the porch and drink lemonade with Mr. Hanks.
One thing I love about people is a lack of pretention. I think no matter how hard we try to not give in to consumer pressure, we all fall prey to peer pressure. I remember as a little girl wanting the special Eastland shoes that didn't tie but knotted on the sides. I wanted them because the other girls had them. I also wanted hair styles like the other girls had- long hair with intricate braids when mine was short and flat. The temptation is always there, but reminding myself of how many blessings I have now is key. For instance, almost everyone I know seems to have a fancy phone where they connect to the Internet, use maps, listen to music, share pictures, and a million other things. A co-worker at the Space Needle even jostled me about my phone, "Wow, I haven't seen one of those in a long time." Well, here's what I love about me. I like having one foot back in the dirt. I like my VHS tapes, my library card, my National Geographic magazines, my old lazy boy, and cooking meals instead of fancy meals out. I like my flip phone because it's simple and easy, and I feel fortunate to even have a phone. This week we were meeting with another AmeriCorps member, and he talked about how he didn't have a fancy phone like everybody else. I liked this. I like that he's living within his means and not falling into trends that aren't necessary. No, I don't think fancy phones are bad, but I think we all get carried away with too many things.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
September is on Fire!
Is it really September? I've been used to changing leaves, switching to long sleeves, tourism season turning to "newly wed and nearly dead" population. But it is September here in Tucson, and I am enjoying it even though I don't feel typical "autumn signs."
I thought I would keep this simple tonight and just write a few things I'm into lately.
1. Working! I completed my first full week with Arts for All (AmeriCorps) and started working for a woman 3.5 miles away from me, which makes for a nice bicycle ride on the weekends. There is so much I'm learning at Arts for All, and today it was nice to dig my hands in the dirt again. I haven't done that in awhile. It is also an opportunity for me to discover more of Tucson through the ride- I found my bank, Sonic!, Eegees, Waffle House, and another grocery store. My bike ride was hot, of course, but I love biking! I saw my first snake in the road today. Normally I will be working this second job on Saturdays, but I trained and worked a few hours today. This is good, because I want to be able to go to church. I miss it so much.
2. Redecorating! The guys across the street gave me a television with an old VHS player inside of it, so I've been enjoying watching old movies. Right now I'm watching Air Force One as I write. What can I say? I'm a child of the 80's. I like television. And I did some redecorating. I put my television in the corner, brought in my rug from the kitchen, moved my lazy boy and desk. Mind you, this isn't just any lazy boy... it's a VIBRATING chair, and it's awesome.
4. Joan Rivers. I never paid that much attention to her while she was alive, although I thought she was funny. I have heard so many interesting things about her since her death, and it made me want to watch a documentary about her life. Joan: A Piece of Work. I did not know, for example, that Joan was a proud Jewish woman that offered a great deal of support to Israel. I did not realize that her husband committed suicide and that no man ever called her beautiful. She said they called her "great" and that she "looked nice" but never beautiful. I also learned that she felt people almost expected certain jokes from her- about plastic surgery and age. I learned that she wanted to be an actress and she had fragile feelings towards criticism of her acting. She gave to others less fortunate, loved Thanksgiving and lived grandly. She's the kind of lady I wish I had known.
5. My Utmost for His Highest. I found a cheap copy at the thrift store, and along with Jesus Calling, I try to read it daily. From today,
"It is not a blessing that you pass on, or an experience that you share with others, but a river that continually flows through you. Stay at the Source, closely guarding your faith in Jesus Christ and your relationship to Him, and there will be a steady flow into the lives of others with no dryness or deadness whatsoever."
I thought I would keep this simple tonight and just write a few things I'm into lately.
1. Working! I completed my first full week with Arts for All (AmeriCorps) and started working for a woman 3.5 miles away from me, which makes for a nice bicycle ride on the weekends. There is so much I'm learning at Arts for All, and today it was nice to dig my hands in the dirt again. I haven't done that in awhile. It is also an opportunity for me to discover more of Tucson through the ride- I found my bank, Sonic!, Eegees, Waffle House, and another grocery store. My bike ride was hot, of course, but I love biking! I saw my first snake in the road today. Normally I will be working this second job on Saturdays, but I trained and worked a few hours today. This is good, because I want to be able to go to church. I miss it so much.
2. Redecorating! The guys across the street gave me a television with an old VHS player inside of it, so I've been enjoying watching old movies. Right now I'm watching Air Force One as I write. What can I say? I'm a child of the 80's. I like television. And I did some redecorating. I put my television in the corner, brought in my rug from the kitchen, moved my lazy boy and desk. Mind you, this isn't just any lazy boy... it's a VIBRATING chair, and it's awesome.
3. I made my first roast chicken tonight! I found a roasting pan and decided to give it a try. I don't know why I've never roasted before, but it is really easy and smelled the house up nicely. Tonight I ate a leg with the roasted carrots and onion and then boiled some broccoli to go with it. I roasted the chicken, though, with lemon, salt, pepper, thyme, carrots, and onions. I think it turned out well. I'll use the leftovers up, most likely, in salads this week.
5. My Utmost for His Highest. I found a cheap copy at the thrift store, and along with Jesus Calling, I try to read it daily. From today,
"It is not a blessing that you pass on, or an experience that you share with others, but a river that continually flows through you. Stay at the Source, closely guarding your faith in Jesus Christ and your relationship to Him, and there will be a steady flow into the lives of others with no dryness or deadness whatsoever."
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Ways to Save Money.
Earlier today I talked to my dear friend Naomi on the telephone and she told me that I should write a book on saving money. I honestly don't feel like I'm that great with my money, but I have learned how to make do with little. It's something I'm constantly working on. What can I live without? How can I cut back? What is essential? I would like to share occasional tips I have found in being content with little and still enjoying life.
1. Go to the library. This is a no-brainer to me. Libraries are filled with resources and in whatever city I've lived, I've found them extremely useful. Helpful librarians, map information/community dinners/events, books, DVDS, magazines, and sometimes a wonderful view of water (Somesville, Maine) or a warm, cozy fireplace (Berea, Kentucky). Berea library even had a community garden. Use your library! There are sometimes book readings by authors (Elisabeth Strout in Seattle), how to presentations (how to make a winter lantern/winter solstice walk- Southwest Harbor, Maine). Here in Tucson I have noticed that there are even fitness classes, nurse visits, and a multitude of helpful resources. Whenever I settle into a new area, I find the library immediately. The libraries of Seattle also benefited me a lot when I was a nanny as I attended multiple story times- a fun outlet for me and a stimulating time for baby. Stop buying on Amazon and go to your library!
2. Eat eggs. Eggs are one of the cheapest foods out there, and there are so many ways to utilize them. Eggs salad, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, omelets, frittatas, fried eggs, eggs in a hole. Eggs are amazing!
3. Have friends that also care about saving money, finding a deal, and living simple. Believe me, with like minded individuals, ideas will be stimulated and you will be great sparks to each others. I've had friends that dumpster dived while I drove (adventurous) and friends are also a wonderful source to share clothes, have swap fests, and obviously- share dinner!
4. Decorate the way you want to. I've hung fairly cheap maps in my apartment (U.S. and World), but they really are useful and fun. When I hear about what's going on in the world, I instantly find it on the map and feel a better understanding. You don't need to follow trends, follow what you like. I also bought a very old painting of birds flying together over a swamp (6.00). I like it. I'm sure a lot of people would not- just like my very old lazy boy that has a vibrator with it, but I love it. Comfort matters to me and having a chair that is comfortable is more important to me than trendy things. Plus, I got them at the thrift store across the street that gives me great deals all the time, delivers for free, and supports a great ministry. Win, win! Recently I decorated a wall in my bedroom with postcards I've saved from friends. Keep it simple, friends.
5. Get out in nature. The more that you get out and swim, walk, or hike, the better you will feel, and the less you will be spending on movies, restaurants, etc., Appreciate sunsets, the moon, different types of trees, and let these things make you feel rich, because they are the things that are truly worth experiencing.
1. Go to the library. This is a no-brainer to me. Libraries are filled with resources and in whatever city I've lived, I've found them extremely useful. Helpful librarians, map information/community dinners/events, books, DVDS, magazines, and sometimes a wonderful view of water (Somesville, Maine) or a warm, cozy fireplace (Berea, Kentucky). Berea library even had a community garden. Use your library! There are sometimes book readings by authors (Elisabeth Strout in Seattle), how to presentations (how to make a winter lantern/winter solstice walk- Southwest Harbor, Maine). Here in Tucson I have noticed that there are even fitness classes, nurse visits, and a multitude of helpful resources. Whenever I settle into a new area, I find the library immediately. The libraries of Seattle also benefited me a lot when I was a nanny as I attended multiple story times- a fun outlet for me and a stimulating time for baby. Stop buying on Amazon and go to your library!
2. Eat eggs. Eggs are one of the cheapest foods out there, and there are so many ways to utilize them. Eggs salad, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, omelets, frittatas, fried eggs, eggs in a hole. Eggs are amazing!
3. Have friends that also care about saving money, finding a deal, and living simple. Believe me, with like minded individuals, ideas will be stimulated and you will be great sparks to each others. I've had friends that dumpster dived while I drove (adventurous) and friends are also a wonderful source to share clothes, have swap fests, and obviously- share dinner!
4. Decorate the way you want to. I've hung fairly cheap maps in my apartment (U.S. and World), but they really are useful and fun. When I hear about what's going on in the world, I instantly find it on the map and feel a better understanding. You don't need to follow trends, follow what you like. I also bought a very old painting of birds flying together over a swamp (6.00). I like it. I'm sure a lot of people would not- just like my very old lazy boy that has a vibrator with it, but I love it. Comfort matters to me and having a chair that is comfortable is more important to me than trendy things. Plus, I got them at the thrift store across the street that gives me great deals all the time, delivers for free, and supports a great ministry. Win, win! Recently I decorated a wall in my bedroom with postcards I've saved from friends. Keep it simple, friends.
Friday, August 29, 2014
First Hike in Arizona
I joined Meetup. It's a great, FREE way to connect with people that share your hobbies all over the world. There are hosts of groups- yoga, learning Chinese, hula hooping in the park, etc., The group I joined is the Tucson Hiking Group. I joined way back in Seattle and get updates on all their hikes. I miss hiking and have been craving it something fierce, so I decided to ask if there was anyone close by that I could bum a ride with to the location of the hike. I got a response. Someone named Tony responded and gave me his phone number. It was great. He picked me up and I learned about his life- a military family (every member of his family), Colorado/AZ kid, and his interesting flight with killer bees. He is intense into fitness. I thought he was nice.
Once we got to Sabino Canyon, I jumped out and caught up with the group. Mr. Tony would be flying up the mountain on a run of some sort and said he'd find me later. Okay, sure! So I tried to catch up with the group, and after catching my breath, I turned and said hello to the lady beside me. Well, that hello extended to a walking partner, a little therapy session for both of us, and phone numbers/emails exchanged.
I confess I was not that excited about the hike at first. I knew it was going to be HOT and that I might be in PAIN. I haven't hiked in awhile. I also thought that it was going to be 15 miles, but it was just 7.5. It was not a strenuous hike by any measure, and it was beautiful. I was soaked by the end of my hike. My shirt, clothes, and hat were wet, but it felt so good to be out under the expanse of the heavens, being still, in the wide openness of sky, cactus, land. We heard frogs croaking, saw bats flying, and were soothed by the water flowing. I loved looking up at the brightness of the moon, the cactus at the top of the mountains. I liked studying the shapes of the various cactus- some were bowing, dancing, happy, resting. It was such a wonderful experience, a great first hike in Arizona.
Once we got to Sabino Canyon, I jumped out and caught up with the group. Mr. Tony would be flying up the mountain on a run of some sort and said he'd find me later. Okay, sure! So I tried to catch up with the group, and after catching my breath, I turned and said hello to the lady beside me. Well, that hello extended to a walking partner, a little therapy session for both of us, and phone numbers/emails exchanged.
I confess I was not that excited about the hike at first. I knew it was going to be HOT and that I might be in PAIN. I haven't hiked in awhile. I also thought that it was going to be 15 miles, but it was just 7.5. It was not a strenuous hike by any measure, and it was beautiful. I was soaked by the end of my hike. My shirt, clothes, and hat were wet, but it felt so good to be out under the expanse of the heavens, being still, in the wide openness of sky, cactus, land. We heard frogs croaking, saw bats flying, and were soothed by the water flowing. I loved looking up at the brightness of the moon, the cactus at the top of the mountains. I liked studying the shapes of the various cactus- some were bowing, dancing, happy, resting. It was such a wonderful experience, a great first hike in Arizona.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Smoothie and Swimming/ AmeriCorps
I have everything completed except a visit to the doctor. That will come in time. I am so thankful I had a few weeks off to adjust, acclimate, get organized, and breathe a little. Besides cooking today, I took a nap and upon awaking - made myself a smoothie and went for a nice long swim around sunset. I thought about going to zumba, but as often as I ride the bus, a day off from the bus can be refreshing to my spirit. Plus, swimming is great exercise. It completely soothes my body. I swam a few laps and then came home, put on my pajamas, made some tea, and feel utterly content.
Tomorrow is AmeriCorps graduation for the members last year. I think all the new members are going and it will be a chance to talk to the old members and see what's up! I am very excited about starting my job Tuesday. I am looking forward to meeting the people that I will be working with this year- young and vivacious folks. Today I was in the office and I saw all kinds of people with a wide spectrum of disability. It touches my heart how overlooked and undervalued these folks are to our society. I feel excited to discover the ways my heart is going to expand and grow through this year of service. I have no idea what to expect. I know there's a month of training and a concentration of arts. I have gotten a tour, and I was impressed with the large facilities for music, theatre, ceramics, art, computers, etc., I also know there are "outings" and buses. My friends across the street encouraged me that it can be very fulfilling but nothing of the self, and it's a call to true servant life. They also encouraged me with gifts of hospitality and cheer. He reminded me that sometimes people can't change, can't respond, and don't remember you, but you keep pouring yourself out in love. This kind of love is the servant heart Jesus had for all of us.
My prayer is that God will tender my heart with deep love for everyone in this program, that I will serve with joy, and that this year with AmeriCorps will be a big expansion of my heart and soul. Let there be love! May there be laughter, too, and a daily appreciation for the gift of life.
Tomorrow is AmeriCorps graduation for the members last year. I think all the new members are going and it will be a chance to talk to the old members and see what's up! I am very excited about starting my job Tuesday. I am looking forward to meeting the people that I will be working with this year- young and vivacious folks. Today I was in the office and I saw all kinds of people with a wide spectrum of disability. It touches my heart how overlooked and undervalued these folks are to our society. I feel excited to discover the ways my heart is going to expand and grow through this year of service. I have no idea what to expect. I know there's a month of training and a concentration of arts. I have gotten a tour, and I was impressed with the large facilities for music, theatre, ceramics, art, computers, etc., I also know there are "outings" and buses. My friends across the street encouraged me that it can be very fulfilling but nothing of the self, and it's a call to true servant life. They also encouraged me with gifts of hospitality and cheer. He reminded me that sometimes people can't change, can't respond, and don't remember you, but you keep pouring yourself out in love. This kind of love is the servant heart Jesus had for all of us.
My prayer is that God will tender my heart with deep love for everyone in this program, that I will serve with joy, and that this year with AmeriCorps will be a big expansion of my heart and soul. Let there be love! May there be laughter, too, and a daily appreciation for the gift of life.
Resting and Relaxing
I finally completed all my to-do's for getting settled in Arizona and with the new job. Now I'm burrowing deep and relishing home.
Today, after a short meeting with my Director, I returned home and started baking/cooking.
First I baked these brownies from scratch. I threw in some extra M and M's for good measure. I gave them to the guys across the street. I hope they tasted okay.
Then I made another black bean salad, even though I was missing a red onion and Red Delicious apple. I like improvising. I decided to add a little white onion and use up my leftover chicken.
I had some cucumbers that I picked up at Trader Joe's- Persian, seedless ones, and I decided to make a refreshing cucumber salad for later. A little bit of vinegar, water, sugar, salt, pepper, parsley. Thanks, Betty Crocker.
Then I was craving something warm and hearty for myself. I decided to make a big dish of tuna casserole. In four days I'll be a working girl again, and I figure I could freeze some of it for later. It's so nice to make something so delicious for yourself. So good. And very cheap and fairly healthy, too. Now I'm ready for a nap.
Today, after a short meeting with my Director, I returned home and started baking/cooking.
First I baked these brownies from scratch. I threw in some extra M and M's for good measure. I gave them to the guys across the street. I hope they tasted okay.
Then I made another black bean salad, even though I was missing a red onion and Red Delicious apple. I like improvising. I decided to add a little white onion and use up my leftover chicken.
I had some cucumbers that I picked up at Trader Joe's- Persian, seedless ones, and I decided to make a refreshing cucumber salad for later. A little bit of vinegar, water, sugar, salt, pepper, parsley. Thanks, Betty Crocker.
Then I was craving something warm and hearty for myself. I decided to make a big dish of tuna casserole. In four days I'll be a working girl again, and I figure I could freeze some of it for later. It's so nice to make something so delicious for yourself. So good. And very cheap and fairly healthy, too. Now I'm ready for a nap.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
San Xavier Mission
Next week at this time I will have begun my work with AmeriCorps. I'm actually starting to get very excited about it. But since most of my errands are done, I decided to do some sightseeing of my new town today. I took the bus all the way down to the transit and then caught the shuttle that takes you out to San Xavier Mission. It's an Indian reservation south of Tucson with their own health clinic, school, cemetery, etc., The shuttle ride was peaceful. There were many Native Americans. I was the only white person. Pictures often times speak louder than words, so I will let the pictures do the talking. I was impressed by the beatify of San Xavier Mission and Church, also known as the White Dove of the Desert.
There were lots of candles burning. lots of crosses, many cactuses on the hills, and a broad stretch of land. There was a small museum, gift shop (all items are tax free on the reservation), and even a little snack bar. I stopped to try my first Indian fry bread soaked in honey. It was worth the trip in and of itself!
There were lots of candles burning. lots of crosses, many cactuses on the hills, and a broad stretch of land. There was a small museum, gift shop (all items are tax free on the reservation), and even a little snack bar. I stopped to try my first Indian fry bread soaked in honey. It was worth the trip in and of itself!
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