Unfortunately, I have been neglecting this blog. Life has thrown me lots of plates to fix all at once. I've been going strong every day, working and training on weekends, and working for a lady outside on my day off. I have been at Arts for All now for almost a month, and it's been a really intense period of time. It's a completely new environment- working with people with various types of disabilities, learning how to help, how to drive, how to strap a person into a van when they're in a wheelchair, tips on feeding individuals, toileting, and working with the kids.
I'll be honest. Many things have pierced my heart in such a large way lately. I feel like along with the weight of lots of changes, physical exertion, and emotions, I've become a little comatose inside.
I learned that my friend across the street hopped a fence and crashed and burned his drug issues. I liked him. I am rooting for my neighbors, my friends across the street recovering, being restored. I want them to do well, and I hate knowing that C is out on the streets broke and alone. It felt so hard to understand, I saw him frequently. He knocked on the window and waved to me as I walked to work.
I started working with kids. I love kids, but I haven't had a lot of experience with them. I'm not a parent. I've done a lot of babysitting, worked as a nanny (to a baby- not a kid!), taught a little in church, and generally enjoyed being around kids. Well, I entered another world this past week. Kids back talking to authority, explicit conversations, violent tantrums of kicking and screaming, and general bad behavior.
When I went to put a child in my lap, I was reprimanded. "Boys at eight understand that you have breasts." I had a hard time understanding this. Where is the innocence?
I'm still processing this- the fact that kids are still kids but they have a layer of knowledge that has stripped them of basic simplicity. And I'm not sure I'm very capable.
I need to spend time in prayer, in God's Word, in being good to myself, and resting.
Today I had CPR and First Aid training with Save a Life. I am finally home with no where to go, no where to be, no one demanding I be at a meeting or work, and I breathe some relief.
I'm headed back to bed and giving my body and soul what it most needs right now- rest.
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