Monday night is my last shift at the seasonal gig. I was able to pick up extra shifts and suffer through the mall madness without losing my soul completely. I'm so tired of sausage, cheese, and even those stupid mini melt away mints.
I resigned from my job at Arts for All with sadness and relief a couple weeks ago. Sadness because I cared about the participants and had hoped that my year would be filled with service, love and making a difference. Relief because I learned that even in non- profit work, people are still consumed with running a business, making a buck, and not always treating people well. I learned a lot about people as well, and I learned that sometimes a boss is simply never satisfied with you. The year began with my job working for Dr. P, a South Korean Dentist raised by Doctors and boarding school. It was nothing personal, I'm assured, I was not perfect. And later in the year, I experienced the turbulence of Ms. B who truly feels that her employees (especially AmeriCorps) are expendable. I should have caught on to that the day I moved to Tucson and she was cold as ice to me, even pointing out to me that my summer t-shirt was too low. I've learned the importance of more thoroughly investigating work before I take it. I've also learned to really listen to the stories that you hear about a place. You can always be positive and hopeful, but weigh everything you hear closely. Let things simmer a bit. Live and learn...
Despite all of that, I am feeling exceedingly hopeful about the new year. I almost can't contain myself. I have so many dreams and hopes about this year. I'm really excited. I would like to attend a course at University of Arizona to become certified in teaching English overseas this summer. It is something I have always contemplated, and I love the idea of opening my life to living abroad! Even if I don't teach abroad (and why wouldn't I), it's wonderful to enhance your skills and mind.
Sometimes it feels crazy to dream big, but the opposite of that is to stay small and unchanged. I got a brochure in the mail about a trip to Togo to visit Victoire, my sponsored child via Compassion. I want to go so badly. The thing is, it's a lot of money, and guess what? My CELTA course is not cheap either, but here's the thing... I no longer work at a job where I average about 5.00 an hour, and maybe that's a good thing! Maybe, just maybe, I need to find a better paying job so that I can pursue clearer, broader dreams of mine. And so it begins... I'm on the job hunt! It's not a fun process, but in this day and age, it seems like a constant. Once you get a job, start looking for the next job! The great thing is that I feel truly motivated to work hard, make money, and save. Please keep me in your prayers as I search and hunt for work, and please help me keep pressing forward to those good dreams!
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Christmas Eve
The holidays often stir up feelings of loss and memory, heartache and longing. I rode my bicycle past Evergreen Cemetery tonight, Christmas Eve, and was captured by the number of people decorating little trees for their loved ones no longer on this earth. The one person I tend to think about most over the holidays is my Grandma. I think about how she dressed up for Christmas, how cheerful and happy she was to greet me, cook for me, and celebrate with me. I also think about how she wrapped razors and underwear for me. :) Christmas can be hard for many, but somehow, God's grace appears and we make it through. May you feel God's loving embrace this season.
Monday, December 22, 2014
Christmas baking
I haven't done a ton of baking recently, but something came over me tonight and I had the strongest urge to get busy in the kitchen. I lit a pine candle, opened my door for fresh air (I'm in Tucson, remember...), played some great music (a little Amy Grant, Amos Lee, Norah Jones), and baked to my hearts content. I love my little kitchen and the happy meals I plan, prepare, and invent here. I make myself delicious smoothies, strong coffee, and hot tea. Tonight I made myself an omelet with peppers and Swiss cheese. I love grating fresh cheese over things. It's truly one of those rewarding pleasures of being a human.
Yesterday I worked my gardening/errands job and I will confess I was a bit disappointed. I feel like I work pretty hard for this lady, taking out her trash, picking up her branches, digging into the earth, and watering her plants among other things. I bike three miles to her home, sweaty in the summer, and my hands are always dry and my body often aches after all the chores.
When I expect something, I'm almost always disappointed, and I was thinking she would show me some appreciation... a note, a little bonus, something! I feel silly to acknowledge that it bummed me out, but maybe because my other jobs have been so unappreciative, I was hoping someone would give me a line.
I'm sitting at my desk, later that evening, and my neighbor walks over with something in her hands. I screamed, unfortunately. I've always been easily startled and since the attempted break in a couple months ago, I might be a little more. Still I'm so hot blooded that I leave my door open as much as I can with three fans blowing. A.C. will return in March. My neighbor thanked me for the Christmas card I taped to her door, and she handed me a brand new Pampered Chef brownie square pan with a cake tester. I hugged her with gratitude and rejoicing. She told me that her Grandma had given it to her but she didn't think she'd use it. I started researching Pampered Chef brownie square recipes immediately.
All this to say, this is what I love about Christmas. The unexpected, and that's what we receive from Christ. He gave Himself, an unexpected gift of love, redemption, hope, peace, and life born in a manger where there was no room for Him.
Tomorrow I'm going to hand out some cookies, sprinkle some cheer, and hopefully give someone an expected blessing.
Pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. Delicious! I will be making some more tomorrow.
Also, Judy Collins autobiography is very juicy- loved learning how so many songs have shaped, influenced, and reflected history.
This is my favorite Christmas cookie to make. I got the recipe from my dear friend, Joyce Pack, in Berea, Kentucky. It is a M and M Oatmeal cookie. :) Also, delicious.. and festive.
Yesterday I worked my gardening/errands job and I will confess I was a bit disappointed. I feel like I work pretty hard for this lady, taking out her trash, picking up her branches, digging into the earth, and watering her plants among other things. I bike three miles to her home, sweaty in the summer, and my hands are always dry and my body often aches after all the chores.
When I expect something, I'm almost always disappointed, and I was thinking she would show me some appreciation... a note, a little bonus, something! I feel silly to acknowledge that it bummed me out, but maybe because my other jobs have been so unappreciative, I was hoping someone would give me a line.
I'm sitting at my desk, later that evening, and my neighbor walks over with something in her hands. I screamed, unfortunately. I've always been easily startled and since the attempted break in a couple months ago, I might be a little more. Still I'm so hot blooded that I leave my door open as much as I can with three fans blowing. A.C. will return in March. My neighbor thanked me for the Christmas card I taped to her door, and she handed me a brand new Pampered Chef brownie square pan with a cake tester. I hugged her with gratitude and rejoicing. She told me that her Grandma had given it to her but she didn't think she'd use it. I started researching Pampered Chef brownie square recipes immediately.
All this to say, this is what I love about Christmas. The unexpected, and that's what we receive from Christ. He gave Himself, an unexpected gift of love, redemption, hope, peace, and life born in a manger where there was no room for Him.
Tomorrow I'm going to hand out some cookies, sprinkle some cheer, and hopefully give someone an expected blessing.
Pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. Delicious! I will be making some more tomorrow.
Also, Judy Collins autobiography is very juicy- loved learning how so many songs have shaped, influenced, and reflected history.
This is my favorite Christmas cookie to make. I got the recipe from my dear friend, Joyce Pack, in Berea, Kentucky. It is a M and M Oatmeal cookie. :) Also, delicious.. and festive.
Saturday, December 20, 2014
I love food, but sometimes I forget to eat...
Life has presented various challenges to me lately- changes bring forth good things, but sometimes they are also challenging. I don't feel like going into detail, except to say that my heart has felt a nice cup full of disappointment in the last few weeks.
I love to make food, even for myself. I recently made two big pots of minestrone and ate it consistently for nearly two weeks with fresh shaved parmesan on top. I made 24 pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and froze them as well, in little zip-lock bags for my convenience... a delicious breakfast or sweet snack.
But I'm not sure I've been eating all that much lately. It's not that I'm trying to starve myself, but my schedule has been erratic and my soul has been a little stressed. I've been making coffee, grabbing polar pops, and making decent smoothies with a swipe of peanut butter. I've been living on this diet- smoothies, coffee, polar pops, and frequent snacks of sausage, cheese, and mini melt away mints.
My lethargy reached an all time high yesterday. I couldn't get any stamina in me to bicycle to Trader Joe's as I had planned. I went to bed and slept, and then I woke up on Saturday and slept till past noon. What the heck is going on with me?
Maybe I am depressed... there certainly have been plenty of depressing things in my life recently, and the birthday and Christmas on top of it, but I am not sure I am.
I woke up at noon craving a burger in the most intense way, and I started thinking about a meal with longing. When was the last time I had a MEAL?
So I scurried on the bus and walked to the In and Out Burger joint and got myself a hamburger with onions, French fires with ketchup, and I thought it was incredibly delicious, like a baby having its first drip of Mother's milk.
And I didn't want to sample sausage at work, and I had a little more energy to stand and do my job. I also had energy to come home and clean a little and feel a little more peppy.
I guess I just need to remember to eat.
I love to make food, even for myself. I recently made two big pots of minestrone and ate it consistently for nearly two weeks with fresh shaved parmesan on top. I made 24 pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and froze them as well, in little zip-lock bags for my convenience... a delicious breakfast or sweet snack.
But I'm not sure I've been eating all that much lately. It's not that I'm trying to starve myself, but my schedule has been erratic and my soul has been a little stressed. I've been making coffee, grabbing polar pops, and making decent smoothies with a swipe of peanut butter. I've been living on this diet- smoothies, coffee, polar pops, and frequent snacks of sausage, cheese, and mini melt away mints.
My lethargy reached an all time high yesterday. I couldn't get any stamina in me to bicycle to Trader Joe's as I had planned. I went to bed and slept, and then I woke up on Saturday and slept till past noon. What the heck is going on with me?
Maybe I am depressed... there certainly have been plenty of depressing things in my life recently, and the birthday and Christmas on top of it, but I am not sure I am.
I woke up at noon craving a burger in the most intense way, and I started thinking about a meal with longing. When was the last time I had a MEAL?
So I scurried on the bus and walked to the In and Out Burger joint and got myself a hamburger with onions, French fires with ketchup, and I thought it was incredibly delicious, like a baby having its first drip of Mother's milk.
And I didn't want to sample sausage at work, and I had a little more energy to stand and do my job. I also had energy to come home and clean a little and feel a little more peppy.
I guess I just need to remember to eat.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Luke 2:7
And she gave birth to her firstborn Son and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths and laid Him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the Inn.
Luke 2:7
It is very early in the morning here in Tucson. It's the first slightly chilly night we've had in a few weeks. Even though it is very early and dark, there are still cars racing out and people still on the streets wandering and lights from the dingy motels blinking.
I've heard sermons, read devotions, and sung songs about the irony of Jesus, no place at the Inn for Him and no place in our world for Him, all my life. I remember singing the old hymn, "Have You Any Room for Jesus?", but reading the passage in Luke this week caused me to consider my heart and world more closely.
My experience lately has been among an almost invisible population, the severely disabled, and for so many of them, the world doesn't welcome them in. I think also about the elderly, orphans, prisoners, murderers, the poor, the foreigner, the outcast. The world does not welcome them in very warmly or well. Ride the bus number 16 in Tucson and you shall see that people don't always regard each other with much respect, but you already know this.
What does our world welcome? I think our world welcomes greed, power, celebrity, appearances, high self esteem. Our world welcomes pleasure and speed, novelty and competition. Our world still does not welcome Jesus, and living in the world all the time it can be easy to lose sight of my goal to welcome Him fully into my life and abide with me as my true Companion.
I feel like this small little verse is such a powerful word on the focus of our heart. Have I made room for Jesus to come, to dwell, to stay, to linger, to rest? Is He comfortable in my life? Is He enjoying the company? the food? the music? the reading? laughter? This Christmas season, I'm praying that my eyes open more to the ways in which I can make more room for Jesus. I want Him to have a place in my life.
Luke 2:7
It is very early in the morning here in Tucson. It's the first slightly chilly night we've had in a few weeks. Even though it is very early and dark, there are still cars racing out and people still on the streets wandering and lights from the dingy motels blinking.
I've heard sermons, read devotions, and sung songs about the irony of Jesus, no place at the Inn for Him and no place in our world for Him, all my life. I remember singing the old hymn, "Have You Any Room for Jesus?", but reading the passage in Luke this week caused me to consider my heart and world more closely.
My experience lately has been among an almost invisible population, the severely disabled, and for so many of them, the world doesn't welcome them in. I think also about the elderly, orphans, prisoners, murderers, the poor, the foreigner, the outcast. The world does not welcome them in very warmly or well. Ride the bus number 16 in Tucson and you shall see that people don't always regard each other with much respect, but you already know this.
What does our world welcome? I think our world welcomes greed, power, celebrity, appearances, high self esteem. Our world welcomes pleasure and speed, novelty and competition. Our world still does not welcome Jesus, and living in the world all the time it can be easy to lose sight of my goal to welcome Him fully into my life and abide with me as my true Companion.
I feel like this small little verse is such a powerful word on the focus of our heart. Have I made room for Jesus to come, to dwell, to stay, to linger, to rest? Is He comfortable in my life? Is He enjoying the company? the food? the music? the reading? laughter? This Christmas season, I'm praying that my eyes open more to the ways in which I can make more room for Jesus. I want Him to have a place in my life.
5 Tips to Frugality
1. Never buy straws. Every time you go to the convenience store, grab a couple extra straws and reuse the one you use. Great straws for smoothies later.
2. Always have plenty of coffee filters. Cheaper than paper towels and lint free. Use them.
3. Baking soda. Clean your tub, sink, etc. with this easy remedy. Also use it to eliminate odors.
4. Brings snacks with you at all times to prevent buying food when out and about. I've been keeping tangerines in my purse and energy bars.
5. Instead of driving, ride the bus, and instead of riding the bus, ride your bicycle and save so much money on gasoline. And feel good about that as you are getting stronger legs.
2. Always have plenty of coffee filters. Cheaper than paper towels and lint free. Use them.
3. Baking soda. Clean your tub, sink, etc. with this easy remedy. Also use it to eliminate odors.
4. Brings snacks with you at all times to prevent buying food when out and about. I've been keeping tangerines in my purse and energy bars.
5. Instead of driving, ride the bus, and instead of riding the bus, ride your bicycle and save so much money on gasoline. And feel good about that as you are getting stronger legs.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Collard Greens
I work for a lady once a week doing odd jobs such as gardening, cleaning, errands, etc., This past Sunday I did a little gardening. She had me pull out all her collard green plants and told me that I could take them home. She is unable to eat collard greens, but this was still completely generous of her. Fresh, bright, and healthy collard greens. I bicycled home with two enormous bags of greens. It seemed a shame to not put them to good use.
So I washed them and pulled them from the stem. I placed them in my two vegetable drawers underneath a paper towel. And then I started contemplating what to do with them! Of course I have some roots in the South, so I know about cooking collards with ham hocks and letting them simmer. But I wanted to try some new things. I sautéed a plate first with garlic, olive oil, salt and red pepper flakes. After the greens cooked , I tossed them in a little apple vinegar. It was delicious! I also tried a green smoothie made with tons of greens, a little orange juice, and one banana. It was quite tasty! And then I decided to make a couple big batches of minestrone. I think it turned out quite festive. It is almost Christmas...
So I washed them and pulled them from the stem. I placed them in my two vegetable drawers underneath a paper towel. And then I started contemplating what to do with them! Of course I have some roots in the South, so I know about cooking collards with ham hocks and letting them simmer. But I wanted to try some new things. I sautéed a plate first with garlic, olive oil, salt and red pepper flakes. After the greens cooked , I tossed them in a little apple vinegar. It was delicious! I also tried a green smoothie made with tons of greens, a little orange juice, and one banana. It was quite tasty! And then I decided to make a couple big batches of minestrone. I think it turned out quite festive. It is almost Christmas...
The soup is quite delicious, and I am freezing one batch for another time. Collard greens are one of the healthiest vegetables for you. I looked it up, and let me just say, there are too many benefits to name. Look it up yourself! And how wonderful that they came from a garden I help tend. The soup is especially good with fresh mozzarella added on top. I love how it melts into the hot soup. I am so happy in my little kitchen with the fan going, doors open, palm trees saying, and my stomach satisfied. I shall have good dreams tonight.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Music at the Mall
I confess I have been running on very little fuel. I've lost heart. There is a whole list of possible reasons why- a bitchy boss, failed expectations, uncertainty, fear. I honestly think a lot of it is tied to overwork which has led to my soul being stressed, overwhelmed, and not resting, relaxing, and creating like I need. It's good to sleep in, to enjoy a cup of coffee, to linger and listen to a friend, and to have time to walk. It's Christmas and I desperately long for time to contemplate and dwell in Luke, the Christmas story, and let my heart enjoy this season for all its grace and glory.
I was dreading the work day, but I made it on time with a cup of coffee in hand. Right in front of me, in the middle of the mall, was a group of senior citizen uke players sitting in white chairs, red shirts, and Santa hats. The orchestra leader was an energetic lady with red and white socks and an Elf hat on. They were so full of spirit and happiness, and I watched and sang along with them. My spirit started to change a little. I remembered all I have to be thankful for this season, and I let my heart rest upon the beauty of the Christmas carols. Then, just as things were feeling sacred, the band started jamming out to "Let it Snow" and snowballs started to be thrown all over the place. A fake snowball fight? It was hilarious and joyous. I was smiling and delighted. People might pass and think "those funny old people", but what people should think is "those wonderful old people making music for the world to hear."
I watched as the band got up and the orchestra leader announced, "We're all going to Cheesecake Factory now for some cheesecake!" This group of people make me glad. They are reveling in the joy of life- music, friendship, food, sharing. I feel very blessed to have crossed their path this morning. Even if I had not been working, I would have stopped to watch them. They were so entertaining and fun.
I was dreading the work day, but I made it on time with a cup of coffee in hand. Right in front of me, in the middle of the mall, was a group of senior citizen uke players sitting in white chairs, red shirts, and Santa hats. The orchestra leader was an energetic lady with red and white socks and an Elf hat on. They were so full of spirit and happiness, and I watched and sang along with them. My spirit started to change a little. I remembered all I have to be thankful for this season, and I let my heart rest upon the beauty of the Christmas carols. Then, just as things were feeling sacred, the band started jamming out to "Let it Snow" and snowballs started to be thrown all over the place. A fake snowball fight? It was hilarious and joyous. I was smiling and delighted. People might pass and think "those funny old people", but what people should think is "those wonderful old people making music for the world to hear."
I watched as the band got up and the orchestra leader announced, "We're all going to Cheesecake Factory now for some cheesecake!" This group of people make me glad. They are reveling in the joy of life- music, friendship, food, sharing. I feel very blessed to have crossed their path this morning. Even if I had not been working, I would have stopped to watch them. They were so entertaining and fun.
Life is harder than it used to be
People are on Match
looking for a date
trying to find a friend
before it's too late
They spiffy up their profiles
and take nice selfies
well back when Pappy met Grandma
on a street named Hickory
There was something called courting
and something called romance
There was talking and laughing
and invitations to go dance
Life's not as easy as facebook makes it seem
Being at the beach isn't everything
It's hard to find a man, hard to own your land
You're no longer valued for who you are,
Hell, it's hard to keep a trusty car
Life is harder than it used to be
Life's not as easy as it would seem
There's lots of setbacks, lots of pain
Just when we're set, everything can change..
Just when we're set, everything can change...
looking for a date
trying to find a friend
before it's too late
They spiffy up their profiles
and take nice selfies
well back when Pappy met Grandma
on a street named Hickory
There was something called courting
and something called romance
There was talking and laughing
and invitations to go dance
Life's not as easy as facebook makes it seem
Being at the beach isn't everything
It's hard to find a man, hard to own your land
You're no longer valued for who you are,
Hell, it's hard to keep a trusty car
Life is harder than it used to be
Life's not as easy as it would seem
There's lots of setbacks, lots of pain
Just when we're set, everything can change..
Just when we're set, everything can change...
Monday, December 1, 2014
Monday Night Dinner
I took the time to make myself a "special" dinner tonight. I always eat at home but lately there have been more sandwiches and cereal as I a race to the next gig. I've been craving hot, warm chicken and comfort classic green bean casserole! I'll have to do this one again! It was very yummy and exceptionally easy and cheap. Three cans of French green beans drained, one can of condensed chicken soup, and fried onions on top. Add cheese if desired. Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees. Here's my dinner... a little blurry but awfully good!
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