Books I'm Devouring...

Is Cat Sitting a Job?

If someone were to ask me what I do (which is a common question in our society), I would respond "cat sitter" right now.  What does my work consist of?
Letting Simon warm up my bed before I crawl into it and read...Letting her curl beside me, snuggle under my armpit, climb my body, or just rest on top of my legs.  Yes, it's hard work!

One of the most important things is being attentive to their needs.  Letting them out for fresh air and play, and most of all, NOT FORGETTING TO LET THEM BACK INSIDE.  :) And being tuned into their need for a fresh drink of water...

Dancing, Vacuuming, and other things that might possibly entertain/baffle/entertain the lovely cats and remind them they are not alone. 

And of course, cleaning out their litter box, but I won't post a picture of that, because it's not very pretty....

Being a "cat sitter" is a noble profession, my friends.... It's not for everyone, but if you have these credentials, you might excel as well. 

Intuition, sense of humor, attentiveness, moodiness, artistic sensibility, fine with creatures invading your space...

Ten Things I Know Today

1.  Shaving my legs on the east coast never feels necessary, but it feels so on the west coast.
2.  Hemp Lotion smells really good- I don't know why, but it does.  (found some on sale today with a bronzer in it...)
3.  Mother Teresa has so much wisdom- she reminded me of the importance of smiling at people today.
4.  Drinking a beer mid afternoon feels good.
5.  Drinking a second beer with neighbor mid afternoon feels really good.
6.  The definition of "cat fight" is when "two women fight".  I thought about this definition at 4 am this morning... when I told two cats to behave. 
7.  Possibilities are always a couple doors down...
8.  Walking into a coffee shop with wet hair and clothes gives you instant sympathy...pity...or something...
9. The world is full of opportunities for incredible service.
10.I am still a sucker for Hallmark. 

An Unconvetional Life... Maybe?

Today I spent most of the day on line and submitting job applications.  I applied to various AmeriCorps programs, and I looked into jobs in the Seattle area as well.  I'm still not sure if I'm staying in Seattle or Vancouver, and my new idea of giving a year of my life to active service somewhere just recently developed.  But I really like the idea.  I applied to various positions in the NW, Denver, and Arizona.  AmeriCorps puts a limit on how many applications you can submit, though, and I reached my limit quickly.  Still, I found so many cool job opportunities such as teaching cooking in Denver, a Jesuit Volunteer Program in the NW, and an Arts for All (disabled and elderly) in Tucson, Arizona among other things.  Next week I start interviews... most of these jobs would not begin until September. 

Sometimes I feel like I am living a pretty normal life.  I suppose that is because I am independent and doing what I feel to be right and good, so sometimes I forget that my life, to some people, is unconventional.  I am not mainstream.  As Butch Bracy told me before I left Maine, "We're all not meant to marry and have a house with a white picket fence." I was a nanny in Seattle, a gardener in Maine, and I follow my heart... I like adventures, challenges, experiencing as much of life as possible.  Much of my life I've tried to fit into what other people want for me, or I've felt badly that other people are disappointed that I don't meet their expectations.  Well, I now think life is short, and it's really important to not live like everyone else.  It takes courage to not live like everyone else, it takes guts, and it takes a unique heart.  I am feeling grateful for my life, all its back roads, mishaps, turns and climbs, dreams and passions, longings and sadness, because I'm living my life.  That's what matters. 

Hawaii is a good dream.

This morning my friend M and her lovely mom N left for Hawaii around 4 in the morning.  I got up, eyes half closed and blurred, to hug their necks good bye and wish them a fantastic time.  I quickly crawled back into bed, heard them drive away, and then Simon, the cat, was at my door saying Hello more than a few times.  I got up, groggy eyed again, to open my door and welcome her in to my bed.  I guess she needed to see me, she needed to see that she wasn't alone. 
M's mom bought an outfit twenty years ago to wear in Hawaii and has kept it in her closet all these years, and this morning I saw it on her.  I saw the fulfillment of her dream- a dazzling, bright blue flowered outfit, taking off to Hawaii, wearing tropical clothes and carrying love and light.
It was fun to be with them last night as N slipped into the car.  It was great to see someone so alive with excitement, a young 63 year old living a wild and hilarious adventure with her daughter. 
I think it's so important to have a dream.  Never mock anyone's dream.  Never trifle or minimize what people dream or hope for in their lives.  Sometimes dreams are all we have to hold on to... I think of N keeping a Hawaii outfit in her closet all those years, and I think about the joy and happiness she's experiencing being in Hawaii right now.  Those who dream are able to experience the rich reward of watching their dreams come to pass.
Keep dreaming!

Quiches, Cats, Service...

I had so many crazy dreams last night- rescuing a child from a murderous outbreak, taking photos at Victoria Falls with a million other photographers... I haven't remembered my dreams in such a long time, but I think it is because my mind has been full of stress. 
I am writing consistently again.  I get up and before I do anything, I write.  I write pages of whatever is on my mind, and then I start my day.  I am feeling completely brand new.  I feel like I am actually coming home to myself... my creative, vibrant, adventurous, caring, loving, open to life self.  I am basking in inspiration and dreaming!
This morning I wanted to try something new, so I made quiche! I followed a recipe (sort of) and improvised quite a lot.  I added kale, fresh mushrooms, spices, different cheese, and I sautéed the veggies and meat in butter.  Quiches are much easier to make than I thought, inexpensive to prepare, and fairly healthy and filling.  They turned out absolutely delicious... and beautiful too!

It was fun being able to share the quiche with someone- beautiful M before her trip to Hawaii.  We both had two pieces each and then I put one of the quiches in the freezer.  I love cooking!
Right now I am writing, make up free, relaxed, and with a furry creature snuggled tight next to me. 

Her name is Simon and I love her.  I have to be completely honest and tell you that this is the first cat I have ever loved.  I haven't been a cat person through my life.  I appreciate people that love their cats and I have even encouraged this love in my friends and young people, but I think I've been scarred by experiences with cats in my past.  I once had to cat sit for a lady that took care of indoor and outdoor cats, and they were free to come and go through a little door in her kitchen.  I biked to her house twice every day for a week while she was gone to feed and water them, and it was awful.  The smell was over powering, the cats were wild and crazy, and it was a mess.  I've been to homes with cat litters in the bathroom that were not kept clean, and it also grossed me out.  Simon, however, is cuddly, sweet, and has a personality.  It's therapeutic to have a cat, to have someone close by, to watch, to pet, and to hang out with lazily. 
At this point in my life, I find myself going in a new direction.  I want to serve NOW.  I want to be part of a group, I want to be active and put my heart into work.  I know that I have a strong foundation for such work, too- college, volunteerism, jobs I've worked, gardening, etc., and I really want to make a difference.  I think about the possibilities of helping kids learn to cook and eat healthy, helping kids write or garden, teaching, and all the other endless possibilities.  I'm researching both the AmeriCorps and Peace corps, and this is the next step I want to take with my life.  I am excited...
It is so healthy to have down time in life.  Most of my life I am consumed with how I'm going to make money, how I'm going to pay my bills, etc., and I am fortunate and blessed to have a period of being able to rest and be right now.  It is a wonderful gift.  Creative flood gates are opening, I'm praying deeper and wider, I'm laughing, dreaming, and feeling more myself than I have in a long time.  Life is too short to not live well. 

Old Poems

I recently found an old folder titled "Old Writing".  I confess I've been scared to look at it for awhile now.  It's silly, sad, funny, and raw.  I have essays from when my Grandma passed, reflections on life, stories I had to get out of  my head...
Among my writing I found some old poems that make me laugh today.  I am not sure of their poetic value, but I thought someone might get a kick out of them. 

"Cocoa"
Craving cocoa
Hot and rich
Craving kisses
I should not miss
Craving the beans from the plant I love
The sweet cocoa bean of chocolate dreams
The soothing heavy softness of its cream
I need some cocoa
down into my skin
sinking deep, delivering a breeze
kind and healing
how could it be
that such a small little bean
could mean so much to me


"Bicycle"
I ride my bike all over town
I am free, rich, and alive
No stopping at red signs, no red sirens on my back
You see, I know many people that drive some wonderful cars
They drive Mercedes, Lexus, Infinity, Corvettes
But they are bored, irritated, frustrated, and fat
I ride my red bike all over town
And I am free, rich and alive
I hear the bluebirds, I count the dead cats
I smell licorice on Main Street and a sweet smell over the bridge
Honeysuckle in summer, mint and evergreen later on
My legs are fierce like Ms. Armstrong in the bluegrass
Life is at my own speed, and the hills make me strong
Simple and uncluttered, breathing and knowing
I am free, rich, and alive


"Brother"
Baseball cap, skinny frame, goofy grin
His head slanted to the right on the pitcher's mound
I sat and watched from a distance
Air force cap, Superman glasses, graduation day
His head slanted slightly under the Texas sun
I stood and clapped from a distance
Marriage photos, fancy shots of life now
His head still slants in every picture I see
And I stare at him from a distance


"A Lady"
A lady deserves respect
she likes the best
she's rare and she's right and you're pleased and rich when she looks at you with a smile

She walks in a special way
holds her head high, her steps are light and full of grace
Her hands are refined.  Her mind is full of pride.
A lady's speech is sweet and full of class.  See, a lady stands out.  She might stand alone.  She doesn't need to follow the flow.

More valuable than jewels. A real lady is pleased to do His will.  She looks to her God for satisfaction and hope.  See, a lady stands out.  She might stand alone.  She never needs to follow the flow.

A real lady is a gentle smile, a gracious style.  A lady notices and cares for her world, and through the love of Christ, she changes the people in her world.
A lady like this feels sorrow and pain, but Jesus, her Lord, watches her way.  Again and again, he lifts her up...
So notice her smile, ponder her class... her hope when days are grim, her joy alive in Him
Special, Real, Exuberant Lady,
Beyond your fascinating walk and glorious smile,
You're a simple lady abiding in Jesus Christ. 

Weeding

Today I traveled on the BOLT bus from Seattle to Vancouver.  First time, and I was pleasantly surprised.  The price is cheap, but it is still very clean, offers fee Wi-Fi and a cup holder in front of your seat.  The windows are vast and big, a bathroom is available, and boarding is as easy as showing the driver your phone ticket.  My only vice was that I was sitting by a gentleman that elbowed me most of the ride, and there were a lot of young muffins in the social networking field that made me want to gag.  Thankfully, I had my computer, Pandora, headphones, and could find a blissful state of mind. 
After a lovely lunch, I returned back to M's house in Vancouver.  Quiet, airy, and beautiful.  Her lovely next door neighbor who has noticed that I moved to the PNW with one suitcase gave me a pile of BEAUTIFUL clothes.  Not going to lie, though, I'm most excited about the two sets of pajamas! I prefer this kind of thing.  I hate shopping, I like wearing what people get tired of or pass on to me.  It makes my life so much easier.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  I feel so blessed and amazed by such gifts.
Then this afternoon I joined M in some garden work. It felt so good to get my fingers in the ground again, even if just to weed, hoe, and rake.  I love it.  It helps me think, and my one thought was at this time in my life, I want to draw closer to God.  That's it.  Just a closer walk with Thee, Grant it, Jesus, it's my plea.  Daily walking close to Thee, let it be, dear Lord, let it be.
I want to read the Word, pray, think of Him, praise Him, and pour my heart out to Him.  I want to recognize all He is in my life.  I want to remember that this is not my home, and each day that I live counts. 
The next few days are going to be quiet for me- watching cats, reading, writing, walking, cleaning, cooking... And I pray that in the quiet pace of life, my heart can solely rest and refuge in Him. 

lately

The last three days have been ultra relaxing- playing with the kids, watching Kathie Lee and Hoda, visiting with a friend and eating pizza, sitting in the hot tub, browsing a Catholic thrift shop for book sales, eating Thai with the family, looking at ducks, writing, walking, and thinking.  It's been heavenly.  I thought tonight would be a good chance to catch you up on some of the things I'm into lately.
The first thing is ECO LIP BALM.  It is an amazing, life changing lip balm.  I have tried all kinds of lip balms from Chapstick to Burt's Bees, but I've finally found a lip balm that completely agrees with me.  It only costs three dollars, found everywhere, and it has my favorite flavor- I love all things mint.  It feels divine on the lips, and it's easy to locate in your purse or bag. 

The second thing I've been getting into lately is the ENNEAGRAM.  There are tons of personality tests out there, and they all intrigue me at a certain level, but the enneagram seems to really help you understand yourself and others... It also helps you recognize strengths, temptations, and such.  I know it may not be wise to get too far carried away as every single person is unique and should not be boxed, but it feels helpful in understanding our differences/approaches/drives.  On a personal level, I used to always think I was a number 4 (the artist, romantic), but I am scoring as a number 2 these days.  I've been thinking a little bit about that, and I realized that I have had some major growth in the last few years of my life.  I went to college, worked various jobs, made strong connections in Maine, lived in Seattle and worked as a nanny, volunteered for a week in Haiti, etc.,  I don't think I changed, or even that the core of who I am changed.  But I think I've grown to realize I am more than what I let define me in the past either myself or from others.  I can look at history and see that I really enjoy friendships, having people over and facilitating potlucks, and that I'm drawn to helping people.  It's interesting to reflect on, and it's still something I am processing. 

The third and last thing I am getting back into is READING.  I recently browsed a local thrift shop and bought a bunch of books for less than ten dollars.  (Oh and one DVD included- I Am Sam)

I had about ten books picked out that I wanted, but I decided five should be my limit.  I ended up with a great mix of books.  Sand In My Bra is a collection of funny travel stories written by women.  It's hilarious! The Bean Trees I have read before, but it's worth a second read at a different stage of life.  I could relate to it so well before, and I'm curious if it will still resonate as strongly.  The third book on my stack is a memoir from a woman that lives in a small, isolated town in Alaska.  Mother Teresa and Blue Mountain poetry- positive thinking and inspiration complete the pile.  I am in a mood to be inspired, to dream, to go to new places, and all of these books are destined to do that for me. 

Ducks in Seattle

More time in Seattle

Thursday I woke up with the family, and J took me downtown to news channel five off Denny Way so that I could go to my show.  While working as a nanny out here, I discovered I could take the bus on days off, attend the show for free and take away awesome gifts.  I enjoyed it, too.  Inside the studio are big televisions that broadcast the Today show.  There is a group of women that come EVERY DAY to the show.  They have been coming for years, and they sit at a table with coffee, newspaper and talk about their lives.  I actually think it's pretty cool... They have stories of celebrities they've met, things they've learned, and they stay busy going to all the free events they receive!

Going to a live show is pretty fun because you can see the live mistakes that people make, the re-do's, the nervousness, etc.,  And it is something good for the mind.  Every time I've gone I've learned or been inspired by something I did not know before.  Thursday an ESPN guy with a great sense of humor was a guest.  I liked when he talked to us during commercial and told us about his nephew who is blind but has LIMITLESS options.  Blindness doesn't define him.  We all have something, but that something should never be our definition. 

After that, I walked around and found a big Whole Foods Store.  I went inside, walked around, and tried a bunch of free samples.  I enjoyed taking in new sights, browsing, and looking at the world and people around me. 

Then I came home and relaxed and J took the girls to the park.  I decided I would join them.  It was a treat to be by the ocean, hearing the trains, picking flowers with the girls, and having a good time with them.  They both tried to climb a tree...

We had pizza for dinner, and I slept really well back in my old room with the extremely comfortable bed.  It's nice to be in a home with children, little feet running, games, coffee brewing and shared, arguments, play, laughter.  It's such a joy. 

 

Seattle, I've missed you!

Today was an adventurous day of exploring old territory.  Sometimes the littlest things bring me the greatest delight.  I took the bus with my favorite bus driver- the African American man that always smiled big at Cora and me.  He remembered me as did the Indian man at the local seven eleven.  It's heartwarming to be remembered after living on the other side of the country for almost a year.  It was fun to go downtown again and take in this eclectic city.  I loved wandering through Pike Place Market like old times- sampling, observing, looking at things.  I got to sample chocolate pasta today- it's good! Oh, Seattle~

I love to hear the musicians in the alley ways, etc., 

gasping at other things....

 

tasting sweet things

today is the first day of Spring!

I even revisited the famous gum wall... for a horrible selfie!

One of my favorite cities, I do believe!

 

Seattle

Today I made it back to gray, cold, hip Seattle.  It was wonderful to return to my old neighborhood where I worked as a nanny.  I know the streets well and my mind swelled with memories of waiting at the bus stop, taking the baby for walks, visiting the library, taking baby to that coffee shop and reading books, etc.,  It was such a special time in my life.  I sort of wanted to keep holding on to it, and I'm so thankful I had the honor of experiencing it.  I saw the family again tonight- they are growing, changing, and still so much fun.  Baby laughs the same way, and she's still as delightful and full of mischief as ever.  They are precious people.

I opened a bank account again out west.  My old bank account is in Bar Harbor, and it's not that hot.  I loved Wells Fargo- and so I signed up with them again today.  M dropped me off and I walked inside to get an account set up.  The person that helped me was a tall, slim, young, dressed in a suit with high water pants, spiked, funky hair, Vietnamese man named Phillip Ho.  I was completely charmed by this guy.  He was a great conversationalist, listening intently as he asked me questions about living coast to coast.  He threw in little personal questions like "What are your hobbies, What do you do for work, where is your family?"  I think he is just a genuinely curious and friendly soul.  All that to say, I felt like I could develop a huge crush on him.  I could sense how kind he is, how engaging, how cool, and how smart, but then I realized he is probably half my age.  And then I also realized that he is a curious, engaging, wonderful soul, and those things don't mean that's he's interested in me as a date.  But I had those passing thoughts, and it was delightful to me, so I will let them be.  He said to me, "Well, I will probably never see you again, but I will call you in a few days just to make sure everything is going well with your checking."  It felt dramatic, and I see how funny it is that I can take something so trivial and create a wonderful drama out of it.  Perhaps he meant, "Well, I will probably never see you again, but I will call you in a few days, longing to hear your voice and connect again."  I am silly sometimes, and I am not afraid to admit it.  It makes life way more interesting. 

It was a fun day- full stomach, good conversation about government, conspiracies, shark ideas, language... But my stomach is full and a little troubled, so I am stretching out on the bed and resting.  Looking forward to a good, cleansing night of sleep. 

sunshine

Last week today I was flying to the west coast, so I have been living here almost a week.  M tells me I've gotten sun, and for the first time today, I noticed my face has shades of pink and red.  I have gotten sun.  I'm coming back to life...  The sun (and Son) is shining on me, and the light (Light) is changing me. 

I got back on the bus today with the intention of getting my bearings around Vancouver/Portland more.  Let it be known: I'm not much of a map reader, a direction follower, a recipe reader.  I like to go with something called my "instinct".  I jump on buses and see where it leads, and I talk and listen along the way.  Today I discovered how to get to Vancouver downtown direct- which includes the library, restaurants, coffee houses, farmer's market, etc.,  and I also figured out how to get to the transit center which transfers, and it also has stores and restaurants galore (Target, Bed, Bath, and Beyond, etc., ) So this is a start.  I figured out bus 2, and I took bus 4 which got me to the mall and back again to downtown.  I walked around a lot.  It was tiring, trying to fit into my brain road names and signs, but it was a start. The bus drivers have been so sweet to me, and I imagine their job is not one of the easiest out there...

Tomorrow I open a bank account out here, and I will be heading back to Seattle for the week.  I'll be reconnecting with the family I worked for and became a part of while taking care of their baby.  I am excited to see them again, to see how the little ones have changed, to go back to a familiar place, and to laugh again with good people.  I will be there for the week and then will take the train back to Portland sometime after the weekend.  It will be so much fun. 

full day

Snapshots of my day:

- waking up to sunlight
- hearing an old friend knock at my door
- watching a woman named Ethel sing "You Stole My Man" at the Vancouver Farmer's Market
- the smells and colors of Spring
- eating hamburger cheese pizza with two lovely women
- people watching with delight
- exploring Powell's bookstore for the first time
- talking with a friend at Starbucks
- taking a picture of the Portland, Oregon sign because that's how this girl rolls
- slipping into my bed soon

It's a new era...

Today is only my fourth day living again in the Pacific Northwest, but it has been a super productive day.  Part of this is due to the fact that M helped me get out and about, directing me to possible job opportunities. 
But let me cut to the chase, times have changed.  THEY HAVE REALLY CHANGED.  Gone are the days when I could walk into a restaurant with a big smile on my face and be hired on the spot.  Okay, so I'm sure there are a few restaurants out there like that, but for the most part, they hand you a card with a website address and you have to apply online.  What a bunch of craziness!
All through my twenties (admittedly a more lucrative economical time in our country) I had no problem landing a job.  I landed plenty of them, and it was usually just by saying hi, sitting at the bar, and telling the manager I was willing to work my ass off, had total availability, and being a little more engaging than usual.  I can't even remember all the places I worked waiting tables- O'Charley's, Rio Bravo, Santa Fe, V's, Margarita's, Jordan Pond House, Applebee's, Cooker, TGIF's, Ruby Tuesday, Cracker Barrel... you get the drift. 
Since I am now living in a new area and a bit unsure of my direction, I've decided to check out the restaurant scene in Portland/Vancouver.  And let me just be direct and say, I think all this online stuff is a bunch of expletives. 
That's why I also am leery of corporations in general.  I like the small places with a hint of familiarity and a focus on knowing a person for who they are in person. 
Today I managed to apply in person (application filled out and turned in) to four places, I picked up one application, and got online information about three places.  I applied to Starbucks since they are everywhere, and I was able to put my name in at five Starbucks through their savvy online system.  Starbucks got it right.  They offer a simple application process online and connect you easily to other possible locations. 
I am already filled with much more hope than I felt in Maine as jobs are much more plentiful and abundant out here. 
Tonight an old friend is driving from Seattle to visit.  We will have the evening to catch up and another fun day of hanging out tomorrow. 
I am very excited to find a job! So far, I am drawn most to Little Italy which is a cozy little restaurant in downtown Vancouver where I can serve and wear all black.  I love Italian food- maybe a big part of the reason- but they were also a simple paper application.

New Day!

Yesterday was my first official day back on the west coast.  After flying all day, leaving at 9:00 am and arriving in Portland around 10:00 (1:00 a.m. old time), I was a little discombobulated.  Yesterday was a great day to relax.  I got a quick tour of the house before M took off.  Such a joy to see M again- sparkling, beautiful, artistic self.  She has opened her home to me, and it is a tranquil, calming, and simple space.  I slept well, the best I've slept in a long time.
I took a bath, something I haven't been able to do in such a long time.  I used M's big jar of epson salt and poured myself a long hot bath.  It was incredibly delightful, releasing tension, and scrubbing off the cold, hard, and negative aspects of my life in the east.  I drank my first Kombucha- an organic raw drink which helps to rebirth, repurpose, rebuild, reclaim, restart, and all such glorious things. 
I texted a few friends back east to let them know I made it, and I called Maryanna Fox, the lady I sat next to at my church.  I told her what a blessing she had been to my life, what a source of encouragement, and I asked for her address.  This lady, single and strong, had inspired me with her life story- and I knew little of it.  But I knew that she had sponsored many children with Compassion International and that she had gone to various countries to meet them, and I knew she had worked for years as a teacher and done mission work in Alaska.  I was drawn to her heart which beat with so much love and spunk. 
I organized my things, which was a pretty simple process seeing how I only have one suitcase of things.  I love that my room is bare and bright, that I am down to the essentials, and that I have my Bible and Jesus Calling next to my bed.  I hung up my colorful cross above my bed.  M's mom made it for me.  It says "bless this child".
I put on my hiking shoes and Spring flowery jacket and took a long walk through the neighborhood.  The air out here is so clean and fresh, invigorating and alive.  Birds fly all around, trees stretch and crawl, and flowers bloom lush and colorfully.  The sun was shining, and I imagine my face was stamped with bliss.  It felt so good to be feeling the sun.  I took a walk, got a diet Coke, and sat in the sun for awhile and wrote.  Everyone greeted me, asked me how my day was going, and things felt so hopeful.  I felt lighter, happier, and more myself.  This was my first day back in the Pacific Northwest. 

Westward Bound

Romans 8 (part of it)
"The resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life.  It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are.  We know who He is, and we know who we are: Father and children.."

I am westward bound, my friends.  I am leaving the perfect blue sky Maine and relocating myself to Vancouver, Washington tomorrow.  All the way east to all the way west with one full suitcase of things.  I am starting fresh, new, and with much hope and promise in my heart.  I read the passage above this morning, and I felt blessed by the Spirit of God.  I'm saying to God, "What next, Lord? Thank you for this adventure called life.  Thank you for new doors and opportunities.  Thank you for all these gifts, old friends, new friends, dreams awakening and yet to be fulfilled." Let this west side romance begin.