What should I be and other foolish fixations

I confess that I shouldn't be writing right now, but I am writing to keep from falling asleep.  I took half a muscle relaxer this morning and the other half about thirty minutes ago.  As soon as I ate my burrito on the bus, I fell fast asleep on the road from Portland to Seattle.  I am now in Seattle, at Diva Espresso, waiting for J to come get me so that I can get into the house.  The muscle relaxer is working its magic at  relaxing me again, but I'm hoping that I get a second wind of life to unpack and get settled tonight.  (and also that the kink in my neck is gone...)
I was sad to say goodbye to M today.  It's rare to find people in your life that make you think and feel broader and better, and I'm grateful for her friendship. 
Last night we were talking about the pressure Americans have to be successful, to make it in this world of ours that screams for credentials, degrees, money.  When you meet someone brand new, so quickly the conversation revolves around what each person does to make a living... not what they do to make a life. 
And personally I've always been a little confused.  I've admired my friends with distinct and deliberate career paths and passions, whether it's in nursing or teaching or being a spy.  I've tried to figure out something specific for myself only to grow more and more confused.  I still don't have a clue what I want to be when I grow up.
But M encouraged me to be okay with it.  That me being me and a part of this world is enough.  I've decided to try to stop my train of thinking, what I will be to make a living for myself, and focus more on the life I want to create and live.  I've decided to embrace my road, rugged and original, the one less traveled by but the one that resonates most with me.  I want to work hard and bring forth good, but I don't want to be dictated by a profession anyway.  I want my life to a reflection of love, from the extravagant love of God, fragrant, overflowing, and diverse. 
May my life never be ruled by a career or profession but by the moments I take to notice the loneliness around me, the friends I could encourage, the prayers I could abide and dwell in, and the opportunities I have to get out of myself... and share and give and live.