Weekend Realization

This weekend has been tough.  Even though I'm 36 and feel like I've been through my share of life's ups and downs, I'm in deep adult waters right now.  The child in me is scared, afraid, and sad.  Friday, after finishing up my full time 3 month temp position, I went for a swim.  After I had swam a few laps and was relaxing a bit, a young lady entered the pool with a peaceful aura and friendly manner.  I told her, "You're a  good swimmer.  I can't do the butterfly."  We talked a little bit about swimming, and then she looked over at me and asked, "How are you doing today?" I looked at her puzzled and surprised that a human was caring about how I was doing today and overwhelmed because I couldn't respond.  I smiled softly and got out of the pool.  It stirred something inside of me, and quite bluntly, I realized I'm not okay. 
I slept for a long time to recover some energy that evening, and I've done laundry and eaten well.  I went for another swim and have started my research. 
I have faith that my temp agency will find me work.  I already have a part time gig lined up for the coming week, and I can only be hopeful about finding more work.  But it's been tough to work in a toxic environment with "mean girls" this last week.  I've felt invisible.
The adult stuff? Giving up things, having patience, being strong for the person I love that is sick, and taking care of my self which I must start doing better.
This week I am going to my first Al-Non meeting, and I'm going to begin the search for a counselor of my own.  I'm also getting books to help me understand addiction and what it's truly like. 
I have made some mistakes, and I accept that I am human.  Still, I want to be strong and do the right thing so that the seeds I plant now through my actions will reap something better in the end.  It's hard to care for someone so much and want so much for them to be healthy, but to accept that you can't control their behavior and motivations. 
I am trying very hard to be strong and good, but this weekend I realized I need help too.