First Grade

I don't have a lot of very clear memories of my childhood, but I do remember being in first grade and sitting around a reading table.  I can still remember how I felt, like I was trapped in some place I didn't belong.  I was sitting with four or five other kids, my teacher, and a teacher's aide.  Kids around me were trying to sound out words and read.  I was bored and thinking about other things.  I started scrolling to the back of the book and started reading it.  The teacher's aide caught me and then I started meeting with someone one on one to see what my reading capacity might be.  My parents, not the greatest parents in the world (an understatement), thought I was "stupid" as my father told me.  Rapidly I moved to the higher reading groups where I was placed in the next to best reading group in the class.  Isn't it funny how I knew these class divisions at that age? Actually, it's not surprising! I wanted to be the best, and recently I have identified something in my thinking that I'm working on.  I have felt and feel that if I am not the best at something, I'm not enough.  The truth is I am enough as I am.  Maybe having parents that considered me stupid when I was in a lower reading group made me feel like I had to be smarter and brighter to be accepted and esteemed.  The truth is I am lacking in a lot of ways, and I am overflowing in a lot of ways, but no matter, I am enough.  God accepts me as I am, He loves me and cares for me.  I'm so thankful for how my Father sees and loves me! Amen!